Illumination’s Absence…

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33c6eb9504b548851314bf91413ae4cd-d24b460 badcciintra deviantart

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Tumultuous emotions…
Dilution of enchantment…
Enticing facade permeates…
Truth’s Obscurity…
All ways on the edge of reality’s intention…

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Discombobulated senses…
Confusion…
Choice…
Hidden all ways is that fragility of spirit…
Longing for everything…
Longing for nothing…
Be strong…be wise…be the carefully crafted charade…
Safety in the shadows…

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Delicious ambiguity…
On the edge…
Decision’s deviation…

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Illumination’s Absence…

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΅〜 ೋღ  Christina~ ღೋ     〜΅

Gorgeous photo by ~  badcciintra deviantart

Anatomy Of Envy…

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_Seven_Deadly_Sins__ENVY__by_blackeri

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Duplicitous people… Ego reigns supreme…
Faceless anonymity…
Blending into the crowd…
 Envy ever-present in each shadow…

Pretense of Virtue…

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Infected thoughts permeate reason…

Drive inconsistent action….

Feed self-doubt…

Façade’s creation from distorted understanding…

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It is not self one now projects….

It is another…

Envy morphs into emotional despair…

Feeds on itself until nothing but Ego remain…

Ego cares not for others…

It is self-driven…self-fulfilling…

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One cure will abolish it…

Gratitude…

For all one has…

For all one is….

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No one can be you…

 No one can be me… 

For we are each…

Unique…   

~

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΅〜 ೋღ  Christina~ ღೋ     〜΅

Photo Courtesy ~ blackeri deviantart

Ligo Haibun Challenge ~ Illusion ~

~ This is my first attempt at the Ligo Haibun Challenge for more information and to see the other offerings click here  ~

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This is my illusory image…the projection of myself. A paradox within the very masquerade I portray. I am not that which you think you see when you look at me. Quite the contrary…I am that which I choose to see. Reflection’s surreality is the lie. If you look with intent…truly discerning in your journey to discovery of what is or is not real. Then your rewards will be enlightenment, illumination, understanding. Even more so…you will see what I see…beyond the façade…the charade built over the years of life’s trials and tribulations…The interpretation of faux projection bearing no semblance of truth. You will see so far beyond the layers of lie…so as to truly see yourself when you look into me…your mirror.

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mirror illusion

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masquerade’s lie hidden
 truth impatiently waiting
mirror’s illumination

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      ∼ ೋღ  Christina~  ღೋ      ∼

Enigma…

Each day we face similar choices depending on daily scenario’s. Recently…I have been reminded of how I was feeling a year ago and so with that I present….  ~ Enigma

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path

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 There on a path to future lies converging trails…

One reminds me of better days long gone…

One leads to the promise of future…

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I sit…think…ponder…

Why does one necessarily negate the other?

Conflicted confusion…

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The future is hope, risk, love, heartbreak, having, losing…

As is life in all of its ups, downs and all arounds…

Tumultuous emotions wash over me as I wonder which path…

All the while knowing, as I always have, that life moves in one direction…

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I cry silent hidden tears as the truth permeates me…

Time moves in one direction…

Always to the future…

Never to past…

I know this and yet…

It feels as though letting go of the past means it truly is gone…

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Two paths converge into one…

I know I must take the one to the future, because that is the way of life…

Always moving forward despite anyone or anything…

Time is an enigma which marches on irreverent of feeling…

Void of thought or emotion…

We choose to move with it or forever be trapped in the loneliness of the black void…

I will no longer be trapped in the void…

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Sweet encouraging voices beckon me to life, irregardless of the risk I know it brings…

I follow time’s path because of hope that will wash away melancholy…

I take the leap of faith..

Knowing only one thing for sure…

Time marches ever forward and now I am its companion…

One step…

Here I go…

~

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  ΅〜 ೋღ  Christina ~  ೋღ 〜΅ 

Sir Reality…

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woman desert roses

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He whispers through my dreams….

He paints pictures of future happiness and joy…

He molds each new vision carefully to show me just enough to elicit hope…

Never enough for illumination….

He whispers…”The time has come sweet child…you must gather your past pieces and pack them up…store them in your heart and your soul….

for now it is time for the beginning of the next chapter of your life.”

He takes my hand in his…warm and secure…

walking confidently to the future…

I feel comforted by his presence…his words….his guidance…I am not afraid.

We stop walking…..

I turn to him and look into his eyes questioningly…”Are we here?”

He answers softly…”Yes .”

He kisses my hand, releases it and begins to walk away.

“Wait…”

The fear of the unknown bearing down on me suddenly….

”What am I supposed to do now?”

He smiles a knowing smile which inconceivably puts me at ease once more.

“Now my sweet child…

You’ve left the past in the past….this is your future…go…live it….

shine brightly for you are loved.”

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christina signature b&w

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Copyright © Christina Brownlee 2012

Paradox…

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Words string together in my mind like the rushing river….

Lost in the current of thought…

Gone too fast to contemplate…

Hope…excitement…longing…anticipation…

Distraction….

Delusion…

Disquiet….

Paradox…

Hope and Fear cannot live together…

So many words…

So many questions…

So many …too many…

Confusion….

Your sweet voice in my ears like a warm summer breeze…

Soothing…tempting…beckoning…

Delicious distraction…

A dream hidden in reality…

Another paradox…

Dissipating disquiet…

Breathe….just…breathe…

~*~

Copyright © 2012 Christina Brownlee ~

Chosen Ignorance…

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Sometimes it’s too hard…
This battle fought within the mind…
It is an illusion to think you can’t handle it…
A luxury you can’t afford…
Just because you choose not to see.
Doesn’t make it less real…
Doesn’t make it right…
Hiding the minds eye from the truth won’t make it go away…
Everyone has hard choices to make..
At some point you have to realize what lies before your eyes…
You hid for far too long thinking it couldn’t happen to you…
Thinking it was for the best…
Ignoring of the casualties of cruelty..
Choosing the perceived stronger side…
Believing the lie…while the truth stared at you waiting to be recognized…
Knowing in your heart it was wrong..
Too far from your reality…
Now it’s coming closer to you…
Truth is impatient…
It will be seen…it must…
You can no longer hide behind your chosen ignorance…

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Copyright © 2012 Christina Brownlee