Backstory

                                                                      

August 8, 2013 ~ Update ~

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It has been just over a year since I wrote the below…my first blog post. We’ve all come a long way since then. I’ve made some truly amazing friends in this past year and we’ve all finally had the peace needed here at home to be able to reconstruct our new lives. The kids are all older as well ~My eldest daughter Jordan is 19, my son Jack is 13, and my youngest daughter Emma is 11.

I had no idea when I wrote that first post that I would be writing poetry shortly after…or mixing it up with collaborations, audios, and beginning a vlog! This blog has truly been my sanctuary and words my balm. This is where I now embrace the present…and dream of the future and all it may bring…

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My own little piece of the cosmos…

So, this is officially my first post…I have a lot to say about the past…the present…and my dreams for the future.  For now my posts may be short…some may be interesting, some you may have heard already (If you know me in person), and some may be from my phone as soon as I have that figured out.

I wanted somewhere to post my thoughts, random quotes, and musings that would end up out in the cosmos somewhere.  I guess this is that place.

As for the title of this blog, well I was happily married for almost 20 years when in January of 2010 I almost died of H1N1 & double pneumonia. The doctors said it would take 6 or more months to heal from that devastating event.  Four months later,  my husband, Duane, was killed suddenly in a motorcycle accident…leaving myself and three children (18-year-old daughter Jordan, 12-year-old son Jack, and a 10-year-old daughter Emma) to a whole new world without him.  There was quite the dramatic/traumatic event of fighting for the house we’ve lived in for 12 years.  See, my in-laws owned the home and decided less than a year after we lost Duane to sell our home. Long sad, tragic, jaw-dropping story…short version? I/we officially own our home now (as of a few weeks ago) and are safe and secure in the fact that we will move when “we” want to!

I do want to give a huge shout out and thank you to my mother…she was there for me and my 10-day stay in the hospital while I was fighting to live and she’s been there for me since through the darkest of days. Your my hero mom…don’t ever forget it!!!

I didn’t want to get into all of that because honestly, it’s been going on so long I’m really ready to move forward with my life.  I am now a single mother who has to provide for and raise 3…well okay technically 2 children on my own. But let’s face it…how many of us were really grown up at 18? Especially with the loss of her father at age 16?

So, in short this blog is about me putting the pieces together to form a new life. All those new things out there waiting to be experienced and goals to strive for, most importantly a whole new life to live!

It is my hope that this little piece of me out in the cosmos will be a cool place to visit frequently as I figure out this new life, new me…maybe it will be sad sometimes, funny or quirky –perhaps thought-provoking, and just maybe you might learn something too! After all, through the last 2 years I’ve become quite the expert on human behavior though the toughest course of all…life!

>^..^<

60 thoughts on “Backstory

  1. Hi Christina. Your Mum has just visited http://bluefishway.com/2012/09/21/fibroids/ and made quite a remarkable comment about you and has asked me to visit. I can really feel you hurting at the loss of your husband plus the house plus hospital issues that you have faced and still dealing with. I have been there in different ways, so I really do know what you are going through. My blogs have been a great godsend for me as I can release what I need to release this way. I see you have been doing the same with your poetry. The only difference between us is that you have children. Mine are two cats !! Your Mum visits my blogs regularly and her comments are full of wisdom and to the point and I really appreciate her visits. I pray that you will have a nice weekend. Hugs. Ralph x 🙂

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    • Ralph, thank you so much for stopping by and not only reading but sharing your thoughts. I do so appreciate them. I know my mom loves your blog! 🙂 I appreciate your empathy and kindness, more than I can say. Yes this blog has most definitely been a huge balm of healing for me!! Thank you again, very very much 🙂 Hugs ~

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  2. You are SO STRONG!!! I’ve read your story I think from your mom’s blog, when you finally broke the emotional doors down and started writing poetry about what happened. You’re amazing and incredible. And have come so far from where you were when you wrote this. And I know I haven’t been around lately, but that much I know is true 🙂 xoxo

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    • Michelle, thank you….really so so much!! I have missed seeing you! And have an apology of my own as I haven’t been by to visit you either! Thank you so much for your genorous praise sweet friend!!! It truly menas so very much to me!! More than I can say actually 🙂
      Sending hugs!!!!

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  3. Hi Christina. I just popped by to see how you are. I hope life is on the up for you now and you are now a happy bunny. Hugs. Ralph x

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    • Thank you so much Ralph…for checking in on me and for your sweet wishes!

      Most definitely more better days than bad…it would seem life is on the up and up. 🙂 I do so appreciate your caring concern!! 😀 Hugs ~

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  4. christina….just read what a catastrophic time youve been thru….didnt want to discuss that again with you…but if i tell u a little of what ahppened to me, it may help u somehow.
    when u say that you almost died due to that infection…and then some time later, your partner died tragically….i believe…and ive seen it proven so many times…that when something bad is about to happen, you get a kind of a warning…a premonition…not that ive been able to do anything about it, but its there just the same.
    recently, whilst out shopping at a mall, my wife had a fall and hit her head on a metal rack in the shop…real bad cut…blood everywhere….turned out that she blacked out due to a herbal blood pressure remedy she was taking…anyway, ambulance was there to take care of her.
    then, 2 months later, we had an early morning call….my brother-in-law passed away overnight…he was only 49…not only my brother-in-law, but my best friend.
    we still havent gotten over that blow yet but are slowly trying to get on with life.
    but a similar thing like yours also happened to his family. it just so happened that he had 2 very good life insurance policies, which are going to pay out a very handsome sum..on top of that, his workplace is also due to pay out a big sum to his wife.
    anyway, the moment he died, his wife decided to kick out his elderly parents (who were living with them)! not only that, she warned her own 3 teenage kids that she’d kick them out too if they didnt go along with whatever she said….
    so…its pain upon pain for them right now
    you are not alone…but glad to hear youre sorting things out all by yourself…good for you! lots of hugs…and may whoever is up there, bless you all…

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  5. You have definitely come a long way since that first post, and it is a real pleasure to read the pieces that create. They really are fantastic.

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  6. Arrived here from Oxherd’s blog. This is heartbreaking and yet here you are surviving and even thriving/writing in the wake. Blessings to you and your family.

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    • Terri, thank you so much for your sweet thoughts and encouragement. Much to my surprise writing became quite the healing exercise for me and through this blog have made some truly incredible friends.

      Thank you again and Blessings to you ~

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  7. I have just read your “back story” Wow, you’ve been dealt a shocker there. As for the “outlaws” wanting the house back – I am lost for words.

    Have a good Christmas and I shall be reading more of your words.

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    • Thank you so much Bill…I do appreciate your sharing your thoughts. Yes, outlaws is an appropriate term! I have the recent happy news that they have moved over 200 miles away…yes most happy about that!! I hope you have a very very Merry Christimas and look forward to seeing you around! 🙂

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  8. Christina,
    You appear to have a strong will & aura, along with a good dose of humility and self-esteem/respect. Many people would have thrown in the towel if dealt the hand you’ve played (very well I might add). My wish for you is to keep the faith, build upon your experience and use the learning to help others; precisely like what you are already doing with your blog.

    I’ve been around this rock long enough to be able recognize character, persistence and personal strength when I see it. God bless your journey and don’t ever give up on God because he obviously hasn’t given up on you. Be well.

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    • Michael…wow..I’m speechless. This is probably one of the greatest…most encouraging…comments I’ve ever received. Thank you so very much not only for taking the time to share your thoughts and insight but for your well wishes and encouragement to keep going. I will cherish this always…thank you! 🙂

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      • Christina,
        Thank you for your kind words. I sincerely appreciate them. I live to learn & to share with others… Two quotes from Ralph Waldo Emerson come to mind as relevant for you here. They are:
        “It is one of the most beautiful compensations of life, that no man can sincerely try to help another without helping himself.”
        ———-
        “To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment”

        Helping others is a hallmark of those with a keen sense of self-awareness… In my opinion, it is one of the absolutely most important elements of living an abundant life. Be well.

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  9. You are so strong….. I just wrote a post on my blog :Making the right choices…., which reflects a lot of your thoughts here…..you may want to read it.
    Lots of love and strength…
    Claudia

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    • Thank you Claudia 🙂 I very much appreciate your very kind thoughts and encouragement!! I will check that out soon…thank you for sharing! Blessings to you ~

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  10. Christina…. you’re an amazing woman just like your Mom… and big ‘duh’ is me for just now making the connection between the two of you….. sorry I didn’t connect to two of you earlier. Big hugs to you for your survivorship and for sharing your experiences and thoughts and talents. 🙂

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    • Thank you so very much Roxi…I stand in mutual admiration of your strength, positive attitude, and the generosity of encouragement that you share with so many! There are still a lot of people who haven’t made the connected between me and my mom’s blogs. No worries about that please 🙂 I’m returning those big hugs for sure ♥♥♥♥!!

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    • Thank you Rahburt…so very much!! I feel honored you would equate me with a warrior! I thank you again for your wonderfully encouraging words and well wishes…blessings to you sweet friend!

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  11. I am truly happy to find someone sweet, beautiful and brave like you Christina… My thoughts and best wishes sending you through the universal soul….It’s an honor to be connected with you my friend……….!!

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    • Kazi, thank you so very much. Your sweet and wondrous praise and thoughtfulness have given me a huge smile today! it is an honor for me to be able to connect with you as well! Cheers to the journey we all are on…less and less alone as we continue to connect and share… 🙂

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  12. Lovely blog!! I am just getting acquainted with your blog…I admire your courage and what struck me and touched my heart was your appreciation and love for your mom.I’m a Nana too, so it’s so nice to read about amazing daughters/women like you. Blessings and thank you for following my blog.

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    • Thank you so so much!! I was very happy to have come across your blog and I am very much looking forward to sharing your journey…and to have you on mine as well! 🙂

      Yes, my mom was (still is!) such an integral part of why I am still sane. She is amazing and I am blessed to have such a strong woman to look up to!

      Thank you so much for your very sweet comment. I wish you much happiness and many blessings as well!

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  13. Amazing woman. My heart fell when I read the sentences that told your story. I mean, I even gasped out loud when 4 months into your physical recovery, you lost your mate. Then, trying to deal with that loss, you get harassed…
    I hope you do know what a treasure you are. Just being here and telling your story and releasing your truths…it helps others, like me:>)
    Peace,
    Patti
    oh, and thank you for stopping by my place:>)

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    • Thank you so very much Patti!! I cannot share how much your comment and encouragement means to me! I am who I am…and I try to project that as much as possible. It’s true… I’ve been through a lot more than I ever thought I would be…and at the end of the proverbial day I found out I’m stronger than I thought! In the aftermath…I found my words…my voice. And the wonderful opportunity to meet amazing people like you! 🙂

      If anything I’ve said or will say is an inspiration to even one person then I will be content! Thank you again…truly! I am excited to have you on my journey…and to accompany you on yours!! 🙂 Blessings sweet new friend!!

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  14. my first visit to your blog coming from Alastair – love what you are sharing. thank you and abundant blessings.

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    • Thank you so very much Sun!! Alastair is most sincerely kind to have shared my online home with his friends!! I do appreciate you stopping by and am happy you enjoyed! I look forward to sharing this journey with you! Blessings sweet new friend ~

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    • Diane, I’m so happy you stopped by and said hello! Along with your awesome compliment about my writing. Truly, your praise means so much to me. It is the highest honor to know that I could be a source of inspiration!

      My apologies for my tardiness in replying…life has kept me running. However, I am slowly catching up and look forward to getting to know you better! Hope you have a wonderful weekend!! 🙂

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  15. You clearly have had more than anyone should have to deal with. From one mum who lost her husband to another, obviously nothing ever makes this completely better, but I’d like to compliment you on your determination for your children and your beautiful writing. Thank heavens for people like you who do all they can for those they love. Best wishes.

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    • Thank you really doesn’t seem enough to express my gratitude for your thoughts and wishes…I wish I had better words to do so. I know that amongst those who have lost so dearly….there is an empathy that those who haven’t cannot comprehend, even if they try.

      So, I would like to share my most sincere condolences with you and also my best wishes for nothing but happiness in your future!! And a hug…because hugs always bring a smile! Thank you again, your words/wishes are so very cherished.

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