Emergence…

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~*~

She had a perfect life…

Love…passion…family…

~*~

One day…

The world crushed her…

Sent so much agony…barraged…

She didn’t know how to go on…

Her children…

~*~

She would wrap herself in a cocoon and brave this painful new world…

To spite incoming insidious cruelty…

She withstood the severest of storms…

Onslaught after onslaught…

Cocoon standing strong…

~*~

One beautiful day she knew she was free from oppression….

She knew she had won…

This battle of her life…

~*~

Now she begins the journey into this new unknown world…

First…she must break out of her cocoon…

Slow and steady…

Gently like the butterfly…

Strong… yet so very fragile…

It is not a quick process…

She is the only one who can break herself free…

~*~

And like the butterfly…

If she doesn’t do it on her own…

She will not survive the new world…

~*~

Copyright © 2012 Christina Brownlee

Elusive…

~*~

~*~

There I lay…

Sleepless night…

Lost in my distracted thoughts…

Unable to rest…to be still…

The mind rushes…

~*~

Sleep comes…softly…

Fleeting…threatening to vanish…

Toss and Turn….

Twisted sheets match my thoughts…

My dreams….don’t dream…

~*~

Please…sleep come…

Take me where I can dream…

Where I want to dream…

Don’t disappear…

~*~

Dreams come hard and fast….

Too fast…too elusive…

The mind rushes…

~*~

Please slow down…

I want to know you…savor your lucid images…

Revel in the falling…

Dreams sweet embrace…

~*~

I cannot dream…

Will not dream…

For fear of awakening…yet again…

Dreaded disappearance…

The mind rushes…

~*~

Sleepless night…

~*~

Copyright © 2012 Christina Brownlee

Paradox…

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Words string together in my mind like the rushing river….

Lost in the current of thought…

Gone too fast to contemplate…

Hope…excitement…longing…anticipation…

Distraction….

Delusion…

Disquiet….

Paradox…

Hope and Fear cannot live together…

So many words…

So many questions…

So many …too many…

Confusion….

Your sweet voice in my ears like a warm summer breeze…

Soothing…tempting…beckoning…

Delicious distraction…

A dream hidden in reality…

Another paradox…

Dissipating disquiet…

Breathe….just…breathe…

~*~

Copyright © 2012 Christina Brownlee ~

Kaleidoscope…

~*~

What dreams may come….

I sit and ponder….

So many emotions flashing before me…inside me…

Sadness…fear….loss….confusion….disillusionment…

Kaleidoscope…

~*~

Building a new dream…

What will it look like?

It is intangible…elusive…vague…

I sense it there nonetheless….

Beckoning to me…

Whispering my name….

Speaking to my heart…

~*~

Come to me…

Every step you take brings you closer to me…

~*~

I cannot find you…

I cannot see you…

~*~

I cannot reveal myself….yet…

Hope it says softly….

Dream again…

It will all be so very beautiful…

Just wait…

~*~

Impatient…I beg…

Please…please…tell me…

Just one hint…a glimmer…

A direction…

~*~

Not yet…you must wait…have faith…

Keep dreaming…

Keep hoping…

Keep going…

One new step after another…

Soon you will find you are here…

You will know what dream has come…

~*~

Copyright © 2012 Christina Brownlee

Chosen Ignorance…

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Sometimes it’s too hard…
This battle fought within the mind…
It is an illusion to think you can’t handle it…
A luxury you can’t afford…
Just because you choose not to see.
Doesn’t make it less real…
Doesn’t make it right…
Hiding the minds eye from the truth won’t make it go away…
Everyone has hard choices to make..
At some point you have to realize what lies before your eyes…
You hid for far too long thinking it couldn’t happen to you…
Thinking it was for the best…
Ignoring of the casualties of cruelty..
Choosing the perceived stronger side…
Believing the lie…while the truth stared at you waiting to be recognized…
Knowing in your heart it was wrong..
Too far from your reality…
Now it’s coming closer to you…
Truth is impatient…
It will be seen…it must…
You can no longer hide behind your chosen ignorance…

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Copyright © 2012 Christina Brownlee

Evermore…

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There on a sandy seashore…
Waves crashing…
Warm gentle breeze…caresses seductively…
Softly blowing…playing with my hair…

I sit and stare…
Majesty of the sea…
Escaping reality…

All senses heightened…
Suddenly aware of everything…and nothing…

Watching…waiting…
Sand between my toes….
Salty spray envelopes softly…enticing…gently…

Tranquillity…
The sea whispers…

Secrets of the ages…
Eternal treasures…

Brought ashore for me to explore…
Gifts to see, touch, discover…
Cherish…

Footprints in the sand…
Trail of my journey…
Washed away…nevermore…

Till the next tide…

When there’s even more to explore…

Evermore…

~*~

~*~

Poem Copyright © 2012 Christina Brownlee  ~ Photo Credit © Robyn Lee

I would like to express my most sincere gratitude and appreciation to Robyn for generously sharing her gorgeous photographs in this collaboration with me.

Thank you Robyn ~Dearest friend ♥♥!! ~

The Power of Words…

“But words are things, and a small drop of ink,
Falling like dew, upon a thought, produces
That which makes thousands, perhaps millions, think.”
~ George Gordon Byron ~ 

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  Words…
Arranged just so…
Have incredible power…
To lift up…
To elicit joy…
To bring good news or bad…
To tear down walls or build them…
To heal or to hurt…
To empower or discourage…
To create love or hate…
Build trust or break it…
Words can change a persons life forever…one way or another…
Be oh so very careful with them…
They are fragile like glass and can shatter…destroy…
They can rebuild…rejoice…
Please…choose your words wisely…
Once said or written…can last forever…

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Copyright ©2012 Christina Brownlee

Precious Gifts…

August 6, 2012 I published a post called “You Said…” It was a poem of my life (in brief) with my now deceased husband, Duane,  ( May 2010 ) and hopefully portrayed a peek at true, enduring, inexplicable love.  That’s what I hoped to share.  All the places I say “You said…..” he really did say those things.

It was a huge leap for me…a scary one, to put so much out there.  Myself and my children have been through too much these past two years and now are finally getting some peace, so I guess it’s all coming out here on my blog.

I am overwhelmed with the loving heart touching comments (and one very very amazing email from a sweet blogger friend) I received from so many of you. Seriously, some of them made me cry. It was just honest care and love being shared with words…and I felt them all.  Thank you…all of you.  I am so very appreciative to be part of something so incredible, to have you each in my life now as I begin anew.

It gets better…I received a request from Seadog to reblog the “You Said…” post. He was touched and wanted to share it. Thank you Seadog…I am truly honored.

When I checked my blog this morning there was another gift there for me…one that took my breath away and made me cry…happy and sad tears at the same time.

A most cherished friend ( Prashant ) had written a poem. I know there are things inexplicable in our world…and what would motivate him to write this…I’m not sure. But he did, and he shared it with me and it is so very beautiful.  It personifies Duane and the love we shared.

I asked Prashant if I could share it here, too precious to be tucked away in comments. He said it was mine…so again I will thank him for being open, honest, loving, empathetic and what Duane would love most….a husband who cherishes and loves his wife and children.  Thank you Prashant…you are a gift friend!

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There was a thing I had to tell you

since you knew my soul through your eyes.

In the moment of serenity so longed for,

closer to you, my mortal worth lies.

~*~*~

Piousness in the love I had

fuelled my will to be a better man.

To carry your graceful charm, beautiful,

I tried my best – as best as a lover can.

~*~*~

Somewhere, HE just felt so different

or, perhaps, jealous of me being with you.

He never told me to complete my song,

holier than his prayers – so complete and true.

~*~*~

Now, when I see you from here

I feel stronger and so absolutely fond.

I know, in your heart, I am still alive.

As you smile with courage and beyond.

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You Said…

“The greatest thing you’ll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return.”

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You said I was beautiful…

You made me feel like a goddess…

You said you loved me…

And proved it at every opportunity…

You said we were a perfect fit…

Like puzzle pieces…

You said if any one made me cry you’d make them cry…

And you did…

You said I was perfect…

When I didn’t feel remotely pretty…

We sang… We danced… We loved…

So passionately…completely…breathtakingly fantastic…

We were two pieces who became one whole…

You said you wanted to grow old with me…

You didn’t…

You left me…

You said you couldn’t guarantee to love me for the rest of my life

but you would love me for the rest of yours….

And you did…

Like a magnificent opus…

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Each piece actually has “I Love You” written on it…

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Copyright © 2012 Christina Brownlee

Sweet Escape…

“Without music, life would be a mistake”

~ Nietzsche ~

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It defies description…

All the while longing for one…

Desperately…

Words fail me…

It is perfection…

My sweet escape with you…

So much laughter, happiness, joy…

Bundled in perfect moments…

Unforgettable…

I never thought it would mean so much to me…

To experience so much through something so simple…

It is seductively surreal…

Utterly unusual…

Sublimely addictive…

How do I describe the indescribable?

This, best friend, is the only way I know how…

Two words…

Sweet escape…

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Copyright © 2012 Christina Brownlee