Fragmented Reflections…

In_a_dark_place_by_moonchild_ljilja deviantart

΅〜 ೋღ ღೋ     〜΅

Identity fragmented into thousands of reflections…
Who she was…
Who she is…
Who she will be…
Lost in the myriad of pieces that together make one whole…
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Fractured time…

Shattered soul…

Rebuilding….

Visceral renovation…

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Looking back…

Retracing steps of Memory’s journey…

Rumination of events leading to present…

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She cries out from the conflicted chaos born from bringing the past to the present…

That girl, long abandoned…fervently seeking to find her place…

In this time…she cannot be…

Her time has come and gone…

Leaving me to forge a path to future…

Where I will also cease to be…

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For in the future…

Indomitable change will come yet again….

Inevitably…I will become the girl crying out…

From the past….

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    ΅〜 ೋ  Christina〜  ೋ 〜΅

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It is by no means an irrational fancy that, in a future existence, we shall look upon what we think our present existence, as a dream.”
΅〜 Edgar Allan Poe 〜΅

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Gorgeous photo by moonchild Ljilja ~

Fade To Black…

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fade to black rain

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Tell me…

Tell me I’ll break free from the machinations of melancholy…

Tell me the sun will shine in my heart…my soul once again…

That it will illuminate me from within radiating ever outward…

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Tell me my beloved words will return…

The wait is interminable…

Tumultuous thoughts scream in the quiescence their departure evoked…

Emotions evanesce unable to speak…to be heard…

Locked up…

Trapped inside…

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Memory’s echo or faint images of dream…

I can no longer differentiate…

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They long to leave me whilst simultaneously etching themselves

in my soul awaiting their departure…

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Yet my voice is trapped within…

Without words it is powerless…

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Deafening silence overwhelms…

In solitary desperation my soul softly whispers…

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Be still…

Breathe…

΅ ೋღ ღೋ      ΅    

For it is not disconcertion of spirit that will elicit their return…

Rather…it is in the still of night…

When you allow all of your worries…

To fade to black…

~

΅ ೋღ  ღೋ      ΅

 ΅〜 ೋღ  Christina~  ღೋ      〜΅

October Rose…

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~*~

She sat staring remembering the beginning…
When the darkness enveloped her…
the darkness that permeated her everything…

~*~
Every moment…began to get brighter…
Slow and steady the light shone through…
Fought its way to her…

~*~
She tried to hide from it

complacent in the comfort in the deep black of her memory…
The light…

Finding its way through…started to brighten her world…

~*~
It was foreign to her…
She had forgotten what it felt like…

Warmth on her face…

surrounding her in its embrace…in its beauty…
One ray of light…then another…
Another and another…

~*~
Soon she could see again…
She saw smiles…
She felt the warmth of friendship…
She was inundated by the light…
She welcomed it finding new comfort here in its golden hues…
She sat staring…remembering when it dawned on her…
She knew…
It was the October Rose…

~*~

~*~

Copyright © Christina Brownlee 2012