All You Wish For…

 

Farther Away by LadyDarkRaven deviantart

΅〜 ೋღ ღೋ     〜΅

I can be all you wish for…all you need…
I can recreate myself into your most sought after desires…
I can fulfill you in ways others cannot…
In ways others have never been able to before…
I can make you feel so loved, so longed for…so desired…

΅〜〜΅ 

I can become your dream…
Your muse…
I can inspire you in ways hitherto unknown…
I can make you feel like a King…
I can love you with all that I am… 

΅〜〜΅ 

How I can do this?  
Because I am a woman… 

΅〜〜΅ 

We all possess these attributes and so much more…
If we will but allow love to permeate us… 
There is one caveat…to this we do for you…

΅〜〜΅ 

We must be so loved in return…

΅〜 ೋღ ღೋ     〜΅

 Even more…
We must be willing to risk it all…
For love…

΅〜 ೋღ ღೋ     〜΅

       ΅〜 ೋ  Christina〜  ೋ 〜΅

~

Gorgeous Photo by LadyDarkRaven 〜

The Place You Cannot Go…

Night_Dwellers_by_emptyidentityentity deviantart

The place you cannot go….

It is buried deep within….

Safely hidden from all external forces….

It is where my heart resides locked up tight….

΅〜 〜΅ 

I think of it often….

When hurtful words, actions, and circumstance permeate me….

Irregardless of their intent….they hurt….more than I can endure….

Inducing remembrance of why I wear my façade….

΅〜 〜΅ 

As my soul sinks deeper within its faux protection…

There can be no hurt, no pain, no disenchantment….

Impenetrable, as only I hold the key….

΅〜 〜΅

If I let you in, where you would wish to be….

The internal torment becomes unbearable with any action contrary to that which you wish to project….

Speak to me of love….whisper words of comfort…seek my trust….

All for not….for I will not let you in…

To potentially risk that which I have struggled…fought…

conquered with sheer determination….

The inception for this place of protection….

΅〜 ೋღ ღೋ     〜΅

All I am….

The sanctuary of my essence….

Subsumed in the place you cannot go….

~

΅〜 ೋღ ღೋ     〜΅

       ΅〜 ೋ  Christina〜  ೋ 〜΅

Image by Night_Dwellers_by_emptyidentityentity deviantart

Fragmented Reflections…

In_a_dark_place_by_moonchild_ljilja deviantart

΅〜 ೋღ ღೋ     〜΅

Identity fragmented into thousands of reflections…
Who she was…
Who she is…
Who she will be…
Lost in the myriad of pieces that together make one whole…
΅〜 〜΅

Fractured time…

Shattered soul…

Rebuilding….

Visceral renovation…

΅〜 〜΅

Looking back…

Retracing steps of Memory’s journey…

Rumination of events leading to present…

΅〜 〜΅

She cries out from the conflicted chaos born from bringing the past to the present…

That girl, long abandoned…fervently seeking to find her place…

In this time…she cannot be…

Her time has come and gone…

Leaving me to forge a path to future…

Where I will also cease to be…

΅〜 ೋღ ღೋ     〜΅

For in the future…

Indomitable change will come yet again….

Inevitably…I will become the girl crying out…

From the past….

΅〜 〜΅

    ΅〜 ೋ  Christina〜  ೋ 〜΅

΅〜 ೋღ ღೋ     〜΅

It is by no means an irrational fancy that, in a future existence, we shall look upon what we think our present existence, as a dream.”
΅〜 Edgar Allan Poe 〜΅

΅〜 ೋღ ღೋ     〜΅

Gorgeous photo by moonchild Ljilja ~

Melody of Silence…

΅〜  ೋ ೋ 〜΅

Reflections of silence resonate…
Dissonant deliberation…
Among the ethereal scintilla…
Echoes speak in deafening taciturnity…
Melody of Silence…

  ΅〜 〜΅ 

Through the maze of countless corridors…
Myriad of memories…
A forest of dreams…of hopes…
Therein lies my hidden sanctuary…
Dormant…
Awaiting its incendiary denouement…

΅〜 〜΅ 

Ephemeral illumination…
Fragments of time reminisce…
Whispering in the familiar shadows…
 Euphony…

΅〜  ೋ ೋ 〜΅

     ΅〜 ೋ  Christina〜  ೋ 〜΅

When The Sun Sets…

when the sun sets

΅〜 ೋღ ღೋ      〜΅

Where will you be?

Watching the sunset paint the sky with furious reds, pinks, purple

evokes remembrance of fire and passion…

Vibrant hues deepening…

Transitioning twilight…

Melancholy imbued aftermath…

Where will you be?

Threshold of darkness…

Skyscape displaying its resplendence…

I watch…captivated…

Lost in my own shifting world and I wonder where will you be

when the sun disappears over the horizon …

΅〜 ೋღ ღೋ      〜΅

I would imagine…

You will be watching the sun rise…

΅〜 ೋღ ღೋ      〜΅

Christina signature old script

Phantoms of Nostalgia…

΅〜 ೋღ ღೋ     〜΅

133ed0e29ae0e9f74e52eb1b578c9741 by LadyUndone Deviantart

΅〜 ೋღ ღೋ     〜΅

Seasonal daydreams…
Inducement of contemplation…
Crystal clarity colors perfection…
Kaleidoscope…

 ΅〜〜΅ 
September dissipates summertime sadness…
Lost in Autumn’s haze…
Interminable wait…
October’s promise…
Precursor to winter’s wrap…
Undertones of unknown fill the space between…

΅〜〜΅
Hope meets Dream…
Their collision sparks ignition…
November’s epiphany waits impatiently…
Mists of enchantment permeate dreams… filling them with potentialities…

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Theoretical assumptions…
Phantoms of Nostalgia…
The quintessential question remains anonymous…
Silently demanding detours…

΅〜〜΅
December hints evocatively at New Year’s renewal…
Presumptive lugubrious thoughts…
Induce Thought’s labyrinth…
Ignoring ignorance…

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Dreams sustain impetuous assumption…
Answers lie cloaked in enigmatic disguise…
Leaving never-ending questions where the Shadows of Temerity roam…

΅〜 ೋღ ღೋ     〜΅
This is the season yearning…
For illumination…

΅〜 ೋღ ღೋ     〜΅

Christina signature old script

Gorgeous photo by LadyUndone Deviantart ~

What of Love?

΅〜 ೋღ ღೋ      〜΅

I’ve been away for a while…lost in a world of words….or trying to be in between life’s demands. All of this got me to thinking about my collection of words… how it is growing exponentially with each new author I experience. More than that…I realize that Phase One of my Reconstruction process was finding my voice…which I have done via words.

I suppose one would call this Phase Two…where I explore this new enigmatic and magical world where it is just I and words. Where I collect them like one would pick wild flowers in a field of luxurious splendor. That being said…I bring you my disclaimer which will officially initiate Phase Two of Reconstructing Christina… ~

photo journal

This is my Word Journal ~ Where I collect words, phrases, etc. Unceasingly adding to my repertoire.

΅〜 ೋღ ღೋ      〜΅

I could write of any thing…
Of every thing…
Hopes, fears, emotions…all of it…

Staring at the blank screen I think of my experiences…my past, present, future…
All coalesce into a myriad of thoughts and feelings…

I think of books I’ve read…of the greatest, most-gifted authors who write prose as easily as you and I breathe…of the beloved characters they’ve created…
I think of friends…of family…
Their thoughts, feelings, emotions on experiences in their lives…

I realize I needn’t write merely of my own small inconsequential existence…

Quite the contrary…
There are no ambivalent…ubiquitous…limitations..
I can write of all things…any thought…any emotion…any experience…
Words transcend…transport…our souls to the familiar…simultaneously to the hitherto unknown…

And what of love?

Universally speaking we’ve all tasted it…felt it knock us off our feet…or at the very least we’ve dreamt of it…what it would feel like in Love’s embrace…enveloped by all the very varied vicissitudes of that holy grail of emotions…

Yes…I shall share with you…dear reader…all of my experience with each and every emotion…be it mine be it anonymous…or pure fiction… For in the end…we all experience all of life eventually…some things exquisitely unique…some universal..

     ΅〜 ೋღ ღೋ      〜΅

So, I would politely ask you to not equate my coming pieces referring to only myself…
Instead please think of my words as relating to us all…
In one form or another…

That is my wondrous challenge, given to myself by me..to write in such a manner so as to be relatable by all…
For we are inherently…at some level or another…all the same…
Uniquely similar…

~

Christina signature old script

Epiphany…

΅〜 ೋღ ღೋ      〜΅

Epiphany 2

΅〜 ೋღ ღೋ      〜΅

I see how different words are bestowed with a sublime radiance of varying hues of color…
Emotional gradation…

΅〜 〜΅ 

I observe my palette of words very carefully…
One mustn’t rush…

΅〜 〜΅ 

Slowly I begin to paint…first one then another…
I step back and look at the revealing of this new painting…
This creation of words blending into something wondrous…
Something hitherto unknown…
Time passes…

΅〜 〜΅

I look again…
I close my eyes…

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I feel the tumultuous gathering…
The machinations of my senses coalescing into words…

΅〜 〜΅ 

Their birth a beautiful rendition of everything combining at once…
As if time has no meaning here…
Past, present, future collide into my Phantasmagoric Dreamscape…
Joining…rejoining…connecting…
Locking together as though they already know how they are to combine…
As if they each have their own purpose, thought, desire…
To be seen, read, understood…

΅〜 ೋღ ღೋ      〜΅

Epiphany…
Am I their painter…
Or are they mine?

~

   ΅~ ೋ ೋ ~΅

 ΅〜 ೋღ  Christina~ ღೋ     〜΅

Preponderance Of Maybe…

  ΅〜  ೋღ ღೋ      〜΅    

autumn_melancholy_by_mi_eterna_primavera-d5lcanx

  ΅〜  ೋღ ღೋ      〜΅    

Maybe fills Uncertainty…

Wrapped in risk…

What if’s abound…

΅〜 ೋღ ღೋ      〜΅

Machinations of love occupy thought…

Permeate senses….

Resonating reason leaving a trail of doubt…

Maybe prowls lurking…

Night’s shadow…

Unceasingly seeking the entrance to Heart’s fortress…

The path I fear to tread…

Caution in bold relief on Soul’s frieze…

΅〜 ೋღ ღೋ      〜΅

Love…potential probabilities…risk…life…safety…reason…

Internal discourse…

Preponderance of maybe…

΅〜 ೋღ ღೋ      〜΅

Left behind in the warmth of embrace…

Doubt dissipates…

Forgotten on the shores of Trust’s consistent building…

Daring me to walk on…

Pushing beyond that fear which I hide behind so well…

΅〜 ೋღ ღೋ      〜΅

One kiss…

Elucidation sets me free…

~

   ΅~ ೋ ೋ ~΅

 ΅〜 ೋღ  Christina~ ღೋ     〜΅

Intoxicating Indulgence…

΅〜 ೋღ ღೋ      〜΅    

imagesCALBEUN2

΅〜 ೋღ ღೋ      〜΅    

(I dream of you….)

An unfathomable force drawing me insistently to you….

Concupiscence…

My dreams sustain me until you can…

Tumultuous torrent of wonderment coalescing begging indulgence…

Your addicting gaze….

Provocative exhilaration igniting me…

Decadent desires unknown ache to be known…

Each day pulling us closer…

΅〜 ೋღ ღೋ      〜΅

Such is your effect on me….

Your love fills me…

Peaceful waves of serenity caress me…

Perfection of paramount proportions…

Longing…alluring…enticing…

Unceasing extravagant enchantment…

You have imprinted on me….

(I am forever changed…)

I am yours…you are mine…

Only one thing remains….

΅〜 ೋღ ღೋ      〜΅

Intoxicating Indulgence….

~

  ΅~ ೋ ೋ ~΅

 ΅〜 ೋღ  Christina~ ღೋ     〜΅