Friday Fictioneers ~ No Second Chance…

This is my first attempt at participating in the Friday Fictioneers  challenge; indeed an intriguing challenge. Thank you Rochelle! And thank you Jennifer Pendergast for this wonderfully inspiring photograph. For more information on how to be a part of the Friday Fictioneers , click on the link above! And since this is my first attempt, please be gentle 😉

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March 6 2013 Friday Fictioneers Photo Challenge(Photo Credit to Jennifer Pendergast)

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She had studied this scene over and over in her mind. She knew every step, knew how long she would have when the moment came. She had to be perfect; there would be no second chance. She steadied her breath. Her accoutrements were at the ready.

Now all there was left to do was wait. Yes, wait for that perfect moment. She heard footsteps begin the descent down the majestic staircase. Counting each footfall….knowing he was coming closer. She positioned her .338 Lapua Magnum…looking through the scope she was ready; three more steps and the mark was hers

“Mom!” startled she stepped away from her laptop to investigate…

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christina signature b&w~*~

Copyright © Christina Brownlee 2013

57 thoughts on “Friday Fictioneers ~ No Second Chance…

  1. Welcome to FriFic, Christina. You really had me going for a sec, thinking ‘wow, we have a new crime writer in our midst’… Wait a minute, a kid comes home from school and interrupts her mother’s guilty pleasure… well… that’s what I got. Nice first fic.

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      • I agree with the first comment and with you, too, about not fooling around with weapons. Peter Finch once told me the difference between a best seller and say, a Harlequin Romance, was the attention to detail. Instead of saying he was given an injection, tell how many cc’s of what he was given. Ditto with guns. Instead of saying he was shot, say what caliber of bullet pierced his lung or whatever organ, or if it missed something vital. So, kudos for taking a moment to google a proper weapon.

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  2. Welcome, Christina. I like your surprise ending (as my husband and younger daughter sit in the other room shooting things on the PlayStation!)

    janet

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    • LOL Love the playstation! My eldest daughter liked this piece…she said “Not sure if you were writing, playing a video game, or watching a movie” (Before being interrupted) 😀

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  3. Very nice my friend. Very nice. First time participating, but I think it won’t be the last. This is very well done. Hats off to you.

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  4. I love this, but now I want to know what would have happened if the kids hadn’t interrupted her! Just great, your words flow. Great job! 🙂

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  5. I love that!! The bullet from that is going to smart a bit 😉 I do like that at the end. Kids interfere with everything 😆

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  6. Funny comment just before mine! The added ‘tragedy’, so to speak, is that she would have missed, even at fairly close range,and even with all her meticulous planning..! I just wonder if she could have held that gun straight, so maybe a blessing in disguise….

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  7. I was a little confused with the last line because she went from looking through a scope to looking at a laptop. I do like the details used.

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    • Thank you JK…mystery is my favorite word and I like to infuse it into everything. I liked what my eldest daughter said after reading this “Not sure if ‘she’ was playing a video game, watching a movie, or writing a story before being interrupted”. 🙂

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  8. It just doesn’t matter what type of writing you do Christina, it is all pretty special! Great first attempt. You are already looking like a pro! 🙂

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  9. A lot of new Fictioneers this week and a lot of great new fiction–this one certainly included. As a relative newbie myself, I’ll say that I’ve certainly enjoyed the weekly deadline to do some writing. Hopefully you will, too. Now, back to the videogame.

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  10. I really loved the ending here – nicely played.

    The “Don’t Blink” award is a plus as well!

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  11. Great introduction to FF – welcome! I liked the twist at the end, although I wonder if perhaps you could have made it even stronger by switching the tone – “to investigate” sounds like the same style of writing as the earlier bit, whereas “to make dinner” or some such would bring us back to earth with a heavier bump. Just a suggestion though, you’re very welcome to ignore it!

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  12. Dear Christina,
    Welcome to Friday Fictioneers. Now there’s a writer who gets into her story. Nice job. I’m looking forward to reading more of you.
    shalom,
    Rochelle

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  13. Welcome Christina! Nice first entry with intrigue and detail in the main ‘game’ sequence. I agree with Sarah that the final line is just a whisker off, but the whole piece still works anyway, good stuff.

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  14. Love this (shocker!), I wondered how you were going to end it and then the twist. My favourite line was the last one, ‘To investigate’…..that intrigues me your use of investigate. Love the subtle blog change also. xxx

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    • Thank you muchly SteJ!!! I am so so happy you enjoyed this…and the word…investigate! Intrigue is a good thing right? 😉 Thank you also for noticing the subtle change to my blog home 😀 xxx

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      • Intrigue is something you have in abundance, the more I see, the more of an enigma you become, you can’t get more intriguing,not to mention fascinating than that. xxx

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