Hope

Intoxicating Inception…

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As if from nowhere…

Suddenly you were there…

You knew me, better than I knew myself…

I recognized you even though you were unknown…

Intoxicating inception…

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Soft sensuous whispers of promising adventures to come…

Laughter…joy…peace…trust…

Excited anticipation to know and be known again…

Seduction by words…

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Reality comes crashing in…

Doubt…fear…uncertainty…

This can not be real…

You are my imagination’s foolish figment…

I realize the truth…

You can not be here….

This can not be real…

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The mind rationalizes the irrational, to protect itself…

Dichotomy in a dream…

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Dare I risk tempestuous temptation?

What if…

A whole plethora of what if’s…

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If I want to live…

If I want to truly experience life…

Then I must accept the terrifying risk…

That when I awake from this desirous dream…

You…disappear…

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Copyright ©2012 Christina Brownlee

One Night…

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Lying under the blanket of night…
Stars sparkle their way through the black backdrop…
Creating illusions of images to please each soul…

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Waiting for a star to fall…
Waiting to wish my secret wish…
I stare intently…hoping…
They are oblivious of me and my desirous intention…

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Still I watch…
Still I wait…

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Longing for that one fleeting moment…
They continue their twinkling show…

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Still I wait…
Still I watch…

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Night…
Your playground…
My wishing place…

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Copyright © 2012 Christina Brownlee

Paradox…

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Words string together in my mind like the rushing river….

Lost in the current of thought…

Gone too fast to contemplate…

Hope…excitement…longing…anticipation…

Distraction….

Delusion…

Disquiet….

Paradox…

Hope and Fear cannot live together…

So many words…

So many questions…

So many …too many…

Confusion….

Your sweet voice in my ears like a warm summer breeze…

Soothing…tempting…beckoning…

Delicious distraction…

A dream hidden in reality…

Another paradox…

Dissipating disquiet…

Breathe….just…breathe…

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Copyright © 2012 Christina Brownlee ~

Kaleidoscope…

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What dreams may come….

I sit and ponder….

So many emotions flashing before me…inside me…

Sadness…fear….loss….confusion….disillusionment…

Kaleidoscope…

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Building a new dream…

What will it look like?

It is intangible…elusive…vague…

I sense it there nonetheless….

Beckoning to me…

Whispering my name….

Speaking to my heart…

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Come to me…

Every step you take brings you closer to me…

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I cannot find you…

I cannot see you…

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I cannot reveal myself….yet…

Hope it says softly….

Dream again…

It will all be so very beautiful…

Just wait…

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Impatient…I beg…

Please…please…tell me…

Just one hint…a glimmer…

A direction…

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Not yet…you must wait…have faith…

Keep dreaming…

Keep hoping…

Keep going…

One new step after another…

Soon you will find you are here…

You will know what dream has come…

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Copyright © 2012 Christina Brownlee

One…

 One step…

One word…

One inspiration…

One blog…

One quote…

One poem….

One post….

One compliment…

One encouragement…

One more step…

One more realization…

One more action….

Bringing me closer…

One more piece…

One hope…

An entire dream being built …

By adding one…

Copyright © 2012 Christina Brownlee

Mystique…

“Hope, it is the quintessential human delusion,

simultaneously the source of your greatest strength,

and your greatest weakness.”

~The Architect ~

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What is it that peeks out of the shadows of the future?

That shines a ray of light in a dark forgotten place…

A barren desert… A cold room…

So much sadness locked up tight…

Put in a box until a quieter time…

Some sneaks out and prowls around me…haunting…

Mocking memories of glorious times…

What is that ray of light breaking through the black of nightmare?

It’s been so long…

I almost don’t recognize it…

So close…seems so far…

It’s coaxing me…

Calling with a hint of promise of better days…

Brighter light…warmth…safety…

I can almost see it…

Mystique…

Masked illusion…

Coming into clarity…

Yes…I see it now…

Its name is….

Hope…

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Copyright © 2012 Christina Brownlee

River of Words…

“It is such a secret place, the land of tears.” 

~ Antoine de Saint-Exupery, The Little Prince ~

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Suppressed temptation…

Longing…anticipatiously…

Dream of loves sweet embrace…

Yet again…slowly rushing…

Peace, joy, happiness…

Sublime impatience…

Remember…No…don’t remember…

Create new pieces…a new journey to adventure…

Excitement…

All that I was is added to all I will become…

The path I fear to tread…

Fear, pain, agony…new pieces…

Now I know…

Now I can add those to the past puzzle…

Tears falling…

Creating the new river…

Ready to be swept away…

Letting go…

My sadness makes you immortal…

Reflections in my eyes of who I was…

Morphing into….

Who I will become…

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Copyright © 2012 Christina Brownlee

Tell me…

“Speak to me in riddles…

              Speak to me in rhymes…

                              Your words keep me alive…”

~ Sarah McLachlan ~

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Tell me your story…

The one etched in your heart…

The one that makes you hope, laugh, cry…

You can trust me…

I’m always here for you…

In all ways…

Tell me your dreams…

You’re secret desires…

The ones you hide..

Tell me you feel me…

Tell me you know me…

Show me it’s true…

Not a figment of my desirous imagination…

Tell me…

Because I’m someone like you…

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Copyright © 2012 by Christina Brownlee ~

Can you see…

“Where beams of imagination play,

The memory’s soft figures melt away.”

~Alexander Pope ~

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Can you see me?

Can you see all that’s happened…

All that’s changed me…

The metamorphosis…the struggle, fear, determination,

unbearable solitude…

Forced strength coming from a place even I didn’t know existed…

A million tears…

Ripped in half…

Smiling on the outside to cover so much…

too much…

Packed up..

Locked away…

Hidden on purpose from myself…

Can you see me?

The real me…

deep inside like you used to?

Ready to break out of this suffocating cocoon…

Ready to be free…to fly…

Can you see?

I’m almost there…

All that’s left is buried in me…

Can you see?

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Copyright © 2012 by Christina Brownlee ~