~“Some people create their own storms and then complain when it rains” ~
You don’t understand why I’m angry…
You say you’re the one who is angry…
I’m not surprised…
Let me tell you a story…
Half of me died that day…
You thought only of you…
Your needs, your loss, your grief…
I thought of you and your loss…
I made myself forget…
You decided what, how, and when things should happen for me and my children’s lives without reference to me…
I thought of you and your loss…
I made myself forget…
You were so focused on what was bearing down on you that you couldn’t empathize with anything or anyone but you and your needs…
You said you cared but every action showed otherwise…
I thought of you and your loss…
I made myself forget…
You hurt my children…one walked forever away from you…
You made excuses to cover every hurtful action…
I thought of you and your loss…
I made myself forget…
You ripped the rug out from under us so many times…tore down this family with your own hands…ripped us apart again and again and again with so much judgment, more and more expectation, stress, grief, and extreme hurt…
You thought only of you, your needs, who would take care of you, who would take care of your burdens…
You laid your burdens on my shoulders…
You expected more from me then you ever did from him…
I thought of your loss…
I made myself forget…
You finally stepped so far over the line… there is no going back…the ultimate cruelty to a family so torn up and shredded, not only by grief but also by you and your actions for your self preservation…
So many hurtful actions…that your loving words faded into nothingness…
I honored your burdens, the ones you place on my shoulders at the darkest/hardest/saddest time of my life…
My true family stepped up to make that difference…
I thought of your loss….
I thought of our loss…
And then I REMEMBERED!!!!!
∼ Reconstructing Christina ∼ 