This is my first attempt at participating in the Friday Fictioneers challenge; indeed an intriguing challenge. Thank you Rochelle! And thank you Jennifer Pendergast for this wonderfully inspiring photograph. For more information on how to be a part of the Friday Fictioneers , click on the link above! And since this is my first attempt, please be gentle 😉
~*~
(Photo Credit to Jennifer Pendergast)
~*~
She had studied this scene over and over in her mind. She knew every step, knew how long she would have when the moment came. She had to be perfect; there would be no second chance. She steadied her breath. Her accoutrements were at the ready.
Now all there was left to do was wait. Yes, wait for that perfect moment. She heard footsteps begin the descent down the majestic staircase. Counting each footfall….knowing he was coming closer. She positioned her .338 Lapua Magnum…looking through the scope she was ready; three more steps and the mark was hers—
“Mom!” startled she stepped away from her laptop to investigate…
~*~
Welcome to FriFic, Christina. You really had me going for a sec, thinking ‘wow, we have a new crime writer in our midst’… Wait a minute, a kid comes home from school and interrupts her mother’s guilty pleasure… well… that’s what I got. Nice first fic.
LikeLike
p.s. I did google the Lapua… Damn, you don’t screw around when it comes to weapons…
LikeLike
I agree with the first comment and with you, too, about not fooling around with weapons. Peter Finch once told me the difference between a best seller and say, a Harlequin Romance, was the attention to detail. Instead of saying he was given an injection, tell how many cc’s of what he was given. Ditto with guns. Instead of saying he was shot, say what caliber of bullet pierced his lung or whatever organ, or if it missed something vital. So, kudos for taking a moment to google a proper weapon.
LikeLike
Thank you jenn!! I really appreciate you sharing your thoughts, advice, and praise!! 🙂
LikeLike
Thank you Ted…so much!! This was fun….go big or go home right? 🙂
LikeLike
Welcome, Christina. I like your surprise ending (as my husband and younger daughter sit in the other room shooting things on the PlayStation!)
janet
LikeLike
LOL Love the playstation! My eldest daughter liked this piece…she said “Not sure if you were writing, playing a video game, or watching a movie” (Before being interrupted) 😀
LikeLike
Very nice my friend. Very nice. First time participating, but I think it won’t be the last. This is very well done. Hats off to you.
LikeLike
Oh thank you so so much! This was fun…definitely different for me…but so so fun 🙂
LikeLike
🙂 You did it well.
LikeLike
😀 !!!
LikeLike
I love this, but now I want to know what would have happened if the kids hadn’t interrupted her! Just great, your words flow. Great job! 🙂
LikeLike
Ahh Penny the Wise has graced my blog with her praise and insight. Doesn’t get any better than that!! haha love you mom!! ❤
LikeLike
Haha! I love it!
LikeLike
😀 !! Thank you!!
LikeLike
I love that!! The bullet from that is going to smart a bit 😉 I do like that at the end. Kids interfere with everything 😆
LikeLike
Most definitely!! They do don’t they?!?! Thank you so very much sweet friend 🙂
LikeLike
You are always welcome my friend. You may not post often, but what you do post more than makes up for it, and is always inspirational. Thank you
LikeLike
Crazy woman!
AnElephant loves this.
LikeLike
LOL!! Crazy fun…I am most exceedingly pleased AnElephant loves this!! 😉
LikeLike
Welcome aboard. Trust a child to interrupt mums ‘play-time’ 😉
LikeLike
Thank you so much!! Yes they do 😀
LikeLike
Funny comment just before mine! The added ‘tragedy’, so to speak, is that she would have missed, even at fairly close range,and even with all her meticulous planning..! I just wonder if she could have held that gun straight, so maybe a blessing in disguise….
LikeLike
Tragedy indeed! Fortunately she was interrupted first! 😉
LikeLike
Ha – Nice twist at the end!
In my mind – I was in drama mode until those darn kids interrupted 😆
LikeLike
LOL Rosy!! I love your comments 😀 !! So happy you liked this one! 🙂
LikeLike
I was a little confused with the last line because she went from looking through a scope to looking at a laptop. I do like the details used.
LikeLike
Thank you JK…mystery is my favorite word and I like to infuse it into everything. I liked what my eldest daughter said after reading this “Not sure if ‘she’ was playing a video game, watching a movie, or writing a story before being interrupted”. 🙂
LikeLike
It just doesn’t matter what type of writing you do Christina, it is all pretty special! Great first attempt. You are already looking like a pro! 🙂
LikeLike
Thank you so much LuAnn! 😀 I so appreciate your sweet praise!! And you of course…always 🙂 Hugs!!
LikeLike
Hi Christina, I read your story days ago but couldn’t comment. I love it, very well done. Welcome to the family 🙂
LikeLike
Thank you boomie!!! 😀 So so happy you liked this! Definitely different for me 🙂
LikeLike
A lot of new Fictioneers this week and a lot of great new fiction–this one certainly included. As a relative newbie myself, I’ll say that I’ve certainly enjoyed the weekly deadline to do some writing. Hopefully you will, too. Now, back to the videogame.
LikeLike
Thank you!! 🙂 I haven’t been able to visit everyone else yet…am looking forward to it though….video game indeed!! 😀
LikeLike
I really loved the ending here – nicely played.
The “Don’t Blink” award is a plus as well!
LikeLike
Thank you t !! 🙂 Nice to meet a fellow Whovian! 🙂
LikeLike
nice work
LikeLike
Thank you 🙂
LikeLike
Great introduction to FF – welcome! I liked the twist at the end, although I wonder if perhaps you could have made it even stronger by switching the tone – “to investigate” sounds like the same style of writing as the earlier bit, whereas “to make dinner” or some such would bring us back to earth with a heavier bump. Just a suggestion though, you’re very welcome to ignore it!
LikeLike
Thank you for the warm welcome and kind praise! I appreciate your thoughts too…always up for advice! 🙂
LikeLike
Very very funny – I was completely drawn in and then the last line turned it all around. Brilliant. Welcome to FF!
LikeLike
Thank you!! 😀 So so happy you enjoyed this! And another thank you for the warm welcome 🙂
LikeLike
Dear Christina,
Welcome to Friday Fictioneers. Now there’s a writer who gets into her story. Nice job. I’m looking forward to reading more of you.
shalom,
Rochelle
LikeLike
Thank you so much Rochelle…this was fun! I’m looking forward to more in the future 😀
LikeLike
Lovely sojourn into and out of a writer’s mind. Detail is great. laupua is nasty.
Aloha,
Doug
LikeLike
Thank you Doug!! Agreed….definitely a powerful weapon!
LikeLike
Welcome Christina! Nice first entry with intrigue and detail in the main ‘game’ sequence. I agree with Sarah that the final line is just a whisker off, but the whole piece still works anyway, good stuff.
LikeLike
Thank you Nick…for your praise and advice…both much appreciated! 🙂
LikeLike
Love this (shocker!), I wondered how you were going to end it and then the twist. My favourite line was the last one, ‘To investigate’…..that intrigues me your use of investigate. Love the subtle blog change also. xxx
LikeLike
Thank you muchly SteJ!!! I am so so happy you enjoyed this…and the word…investigate! Intrigue is a good thing right? 😉 Thank you also for noticing the subtle change to my blog home 😀 xxx
LikeLike
Intrigue is something you have in abundance, the more I see, the more of an enigma you become, you can’t get more intriguing,not to mention fascinating than that. xxx
LikeLike
Wonderful twist, and welcome to this little group were you get sucked into like a Midwest twister… 🙂
LikeLike
Thank you Bjorn!!! 😀 Haha Midwest twister…love the metaphor!!
LikeLike
Welcome and I think you will definitely strengthen our group. A nice debut!
LikeLike
Thank you so much for your warm welcome and sweet praise Joe!! 😀
LikeLike
Lovely twist, Christina I enjoyed the suspense. Welcome aboard 🙂
LikeLike
Thank you so much Celestine!! 🙂 This was was a fun diversion from my usual repertoire…. 😀 Hugs ~
LikeLike