Kaleidoscope…

~*~

What dreams may come….

I sit and ponder….

So many emotions flashing before me…inside me…

Sadness…fear….loss….confusion….disillusionment…

Kaleidoscope…

~*~

Building a new dream…

What will it look like?

It is intangible…elusive…vague…

I sense it there nonetheless….

Beckoning to me…

Whispering my name….

Speaking to my heart…

~*~

Come to me…

Every step you take brings you closer to me…

~*~

I cannot find you…

I cannot see you…

~*~

I cannot reveal myself….yet…

Hope it says softly….

Dream again…

It will all be so very beautiful…

Just wait…

~*~

Impatient…I beg…

Please…please…tell me…

Just one hint…a glimmer…

A direction…

~*~

Not yet…you must wait…have faith…

Keep dreaming…

Keep hoping…

Keep going…

One new step after another…

Soon you will find you are here…

You will know what dream has come…

~*~

Copyright © 2012 Christina Brownlee

63 thoughts on “Kaleidoscope…”

  2. I really really love this poem, it is so relevant to my thoughts at the moment and you have written it so eloquently, thanks Christina.x

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    • Chris, thank you!!! I appreciate your thoughts so very very much! I’m glad if this could speak to you….it most definitely is a journey…life that is. All the ups downs and inbetweens….I like to think inbetween there is always hope…and a new dream!! Hugs and wishes for a bright day ~

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  3. Your poems just get better and better. The change from despair to hopefulness with all the steps in between.

    Another brilliant poem, Christina. 🙂

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    • Awh! Mondrak you are so very sweet….I am often visited by the less than pleasant emotions…but always…all ways…there is Hope!!!

      Thank you sweet friend for sharing your thoughts! So appreciate you! 🙂 Hugs ~

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      • With everything that has happened with you, I imagine you are. But you manage to come through with such powerful poetry, it is so inspiring. Your words in this one show the disillusionment and despair to the – as you say – hope that something new and better is coming.

        For you, I feel, that is just around the corner. Thinking about the date after writing that, it will be 🙂

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        • Thank you…it truly makes me feel good to turn something so ugly around…to not let it imprison me. –Around the corner….wish I could go peek….I am so very impatient :D…. In due time it will come…for you and for me!!! Hugs sweet friend!!

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    • Thank you so much….such sweet sweet praise!! I am so very appreciative and honored you would think so!! Always hesitant to share…then always glad I did!! 😀 Hope you have a great day!! Hugs ~

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    • What an absolutely magnificently fantastic word…Magical. You dear sweet sir are so very very kind and ever encouraging to me!! So so much appreciation for you!! Hugs!!

      P.S. Shhh…it’s a secret (I know a secret between you-me-and-the whole of blogland haha) but there is something coming…something fun…so….be on the lookout! If I say too much more it will ruin it…. 😀 !!

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    • Wendy…thank you!! I am very very appreciative of your very sweet praise!!! Yes, one….at a time. One second, One minute, One hour, One day….It is enough…to keep moving forward! Thank you for sharing your insight!! Hope today is a wonderful bright day for you!! Hugs ~

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    • Thank you Ruth!! Really really appreciate your enouragement and very sweet praise!! So much appreciation for you!! Hope you have a wonderful day today!! Hugs ~

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  13. Oh my — now certainly a master- poetess has arrived here at WordPress!! My dear Christina – what a lyrical and beautiful work this is. I love how it’s you conversing with this mysterious dream – all viewed through a kaleidoscope of emotion… very intense really — deep and colorful in many different ways. Gosh Christina – I can see this poem becoming a series… this ‘dialogue’ between you and your dream. Just so excited for all the good stuff I sense is ahead of you my friend ~~ Much Love and Praise, Robyn

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    • Oh Robyn!! I’m just speechless!! Such wonderously magnificent praise! I’m fantastically overwhelmed…just beaming over here…beaming!! It was a fleeting thing as I thought about where I came from, where I’m at, and where I’m going…purely unintentional. Your incredbily sweet words mean so very very very much to me!!!

      I was looking back last night….back at the beginning of my blog, just barren quotes….that spoke my thoughts before I could verbalize them. I realized the short amount of time since the hidden poetess (love that word) has burst out of me. Your encouragement dearest friend…has been so very integral in every…single…step…I’ve taken. I thank you more than I ever have before for your unfailing love and encouragement as I spread my wings. You have become so very very special to me. I am grateful, blessed, to have you as my friend and supporter, encourager and inspiration. Sending so so much love and healing prayers and energy to you tonight ♥♥♥♥ !!!

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  14. I appreciate what you try to communicate but..its kind of vague for me to grasp whole thing.. and talking about dreams when life gets bore or little unpleasent i sleep a lot to dream

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    • Thank you for sharing your thoughts…it is vague, just a new dream on the horizon. A new life, new me, new dream for my life…not sure what it is yet. So, that’s what I was thinking when I wrote this.

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  15. Thinking about you today, Christina. I know it’s a difficult day for you, but I am at the end of an email if you want to vent.

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  17. Okay, I’ve just finished reading every one of your posts… you’re truly a wonderful human being and I can certainly empathise with your journey… there were posts – like this one – where I was reminded of me. Sometimes I found myself thinking that I could have easily written those same words. You’ve touched my heart and my soul and hopefully tomorrow, when I’m in a better emotional place, I’ll find myself sharing your hope and optimism again… but in the meantime, thank you so much for sharing so much of yourself… and for reminding me that I have a choice… and I need to know, to grow, to forgive and to love… not just those around me… but myself as well…

    In the meantime, I will leave you with this quote… you might know it… but then, if you haven’t watched much of Doctor XI, you might not… this is my mantra, my rallying cry… something I tell myself when all else seems lost…

    “Come on! Look at me! No plan, no back-up, no weapons worth a damn! Oh, and something else I don’t have: Anything to lose!”

    (See http://thelastsongiheard.wordpress.com/2012/08/05/emotions-get-the-better-of-him-murray-gold/)

    Clear skies to you, my friend.

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      • It’s not spam if one enjoys them is it? 😉 I’ve just been reading your comments….and I seriously want to reply to them all…it’s like I went on that journey with you…over the last few months to the present…seems like yesterday and years ago at the same time.

        Again, I am truly honored and appreciative you read them all…how cool are you?!? 😀 !! Please don’t think me eternally happy and full of hope…I most certainly have my down days and the poem I wrote today…welllll yeah, I was so very VERY angry, might not be posting that one haha.

        That quote…is it from The Pandorica Opens? That’s where I left off…halfway through…I know it’s sacrilege!! I HAVE got to catch up! Seriously!! I will most definitely be catching up at your place…starting with that link to the quote! 🙂

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        • The Pandorica Opens is one of my favorite Dr XI eps… I love that scene… I have the Doctor Who at the Proms on a DVD and I watch it just for the I Am The Doctor music because it shows that clip… it actually had a very deep impact on me when I first saw that compilation and heard that music… it was before I saw the episode. If you’re interested, it’s the YouTube video embedded in the I Am The Doctor post – http://thelastsongiheard.wordpress.com/2012/05/20/i-am-the-doctor-murray-gold/

          And don’t take this the wrong way… or do, if you like, I can’t stop you, ha ha – feel free to email me at thelastsongiheard “at” gmail.com – you can also reach out to me on Yahoo Messenger and Faceyspacey… (I have a page for my blog and one for me personally. Feel free to reach out to both)

          Details at http://thelastsongiheard.wordpress.com/who/

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          • I will definitely check out that video! And now I feel absolutely driven to watch the rest of the Pandorica to current…in prep for the premier!!

            I have to ask, cuz it’s driving me crazy but I went to reply to your first comment on Kaleidoscope and it put it at the bottom under the reply about the spam…so I deleted it and tried to put it back where I wanted it, but it put it back at the bottom…did you happen to get it? :/

            Thank you so much for the info, I think it would be fun to connect all around the net…and if I did take it the wrong way I couldn’t say…have to try to retain some mystery 😉 I mean you have read my life haha :p

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            • I saw your comment – thanks 🙂

              Wellll… I’ve read about (mostly) the past two years… you have an entire novel waiting to happen in terms of everything that happened before. I’m doing that on my own blog, right now… I’m writing about the songs that remind me of past events and people, for my son… I’m also writing about current events, things we’ve done together… so when he eventually reads it, hopefully he’ll remember some of those things and get to know his Dad a bit better.

              It’s called The Last Song because I’ll hear a song – often randomly – on my iPod and then write about the memories it inspires on my blog later. Kinda like my own TARDIS, jumping around in time and space.

              I guess it would help to have some context too… it’s a little complicated… I’m going through a divorce and next year there’s a 99% probability that my wife and son will be moving away… so I’m writing this for him, because I don’t know how often I’ll get to see him and I don’t know how well he’ll get to know me because I’m not there.

              This, frankly, is the biggest source of sadness in my life. Anyway… sorry to end on a downer… onwards and upwards…

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              • I think your idea is fantastically brilliant! And to be honest I love the metaphor of the Ipod and the Tardis…its really so true that music has the capability to bring back so very much!

                I’m sorry to hear about your divorce, and that you won’t be physically close to your son. I can’t imagine how difficult that would be. I have total admiration for your mission to document all of this for him. I wish I had something hopeful and inspiring to say…something that would bring a smile to end your day with.

                Thank you for sharing your story and the backstory of your blogging purpose. I guess I’ve always thought of each person’s blog as their home. Your home is beautiful because it’s full of love for the most precious thing on the planet…your son (my children in my case). I know how you feel about compliments…but I’m going to force this one on you ( 😉 ) From all I see, you are one amazing dad…distance can’t change that love! Sending a hug to you and a thank you for joining my journey and allowing me to join yours. 😀 !!

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      • Okay, now I’ve officially spammed your comments!! I hope your not sick of me yet….I still have so much to check out at your place! 😀 !!! Wow, it’s late…okay, so…spam check…Doctor references check….timey wimey wibbly wobbly bits….check…alright I fabricated that one! Hope your night was better than your day and that tomorrow the sun shines through the rain…yeah, still thinking about that video haha 🙂

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    • I am so very honored if my words could do all you said…I never ever dreamed when I started this journey that I could say anything that would touch, encourage or inspire anyone. It is elation at its most supreme state!! I am so very happy to have made such a wonderful new friend…and a fellow whovian!! Doesn’t get much better than that!!! 😀 !!

      That is a PERFECT quote…both for it’s meaning and of course who said it Thank you for sharing that…and for sharing your thoughts all along my journey…they are a treasure for me! 🙂

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