Flirtation With Denial…

Flirting with Denial Forbidden_fruit_by_Nataly1st

΅〜 ೋღ ღೋ     〜΅

Presumptive perception…
Hypocritical hypotheses…
She never knew…
Never cared to find truth…
Too mired in bitter disappointment…
Averting ignorance…
Blatant flirtation with denial…
Feeding self-gratification’s insistent need…

΅〜 ೋღ ❁ ღೋ      〜΅
She only cared for indulgence…
Her voracious need to be desired…
No thought to its destructive aftermath…
She doesn’t mind the cost for she thinks it’s someone else’s debt…

΅〜 ೋღ ❁ ღೋ      〜΅
Duteous devotion…
Enchantment’s spell broken…
Crystalline vision…
Truth’s dichotomy revealed in Ego’s insatiable delight…

΅〜 ೋღ ❁ ღೋ      〜΅
She seeks selfish seduction…
Unknowingly denying herself what she needs most…
True love’s healing embrace…

~

΅〜 ೋღ  ღೋ     〜΅

    ΅〜 ೋღ  Christina ~  ೋღ 〜

~

Gorgeous photo by Nataly1st ~ Deviantart

Captivated…

captivated longing_by_ily623-d5g4336

΅〜  ೋღ  ♥  ღೋ      〜΅

You look into me…
Me into you…
We meet there in the middle…
Captivated…

 ΅〜 ೋღ ❁ ღೋ      〜΅    

Need drives its own insistent desire to inception…
Embraced in this perfect moment…
Held by the enigmatic nature of will…
Unable to look away…
Locked in place….
Locked in time…

΅〜 ೋღ ❁ ღೋ      〜΅    

Don’t look away…
Keep me here as I memorize your soul with mine…
Let us stay suspended in wonder…
Before Reality’s ocean rips us apart…

΅〜 ೋღ ❁ ღೋ      〜΅    

We are helpless in its wake…
Fate’s cruelty using us as pawns for pleasure…
Neither here nor there…

΅〜 ೋღ ❁ ღೋ      〜΅    

Our moment permanently fixed in the stars for all time…
Love…without completion…without end…

΅〜 ೋღ ❁ ღೋ      〜΅    

Forever captivated…
~

΅〜 ೋღ  ღೋ     〜΅

    ΅〜 ೋღ  Christina ~  ೋღ 〜

~

΅〜 ೋღ  ღೋ     〜΅

╰⊰ This poem is the last in a series of four originally posted back in January 2013. For more information please see this post which explains my bringing #ThrowbackThursday here to my blog. This series marked a pivotal transition in my writing which shortly thereafter became known as my “Dreamscape”.

It is has been so much fun to look back in time this past week with you. Many of you have been with me from the beginning of this journey, some have joined my journey along the way…

I wish to extend, again, my gratitude and voluminous appreciation for each and every one of you. Your encouragement and support has truly impacted my life in so many ways I cannot even express.

Thank you…ever so much! ⊱╮

~

Gorgeous photo by ily623 Deviantart

Dream’s Symphony…

 

fantasy-woman wallpaper

(In A Dream…)

΅〜 ೋღ  ღೋ      〜΅

She closes her eyes to watch the parade of allemande memories dance
through her mind…as if choreographed…
Only these memories are of him and her…
Desire mixed with love…
Creating a symphony out of each detail of their time together…

΅〜 ೋღ ღೋ     〜΅    

His eyes imprinted in her mind…
So full of adoration and his love for her…
His gaze a silent sonnet…
 Expressing devotion through laconic libretto of prose…

 ΅〜 〜΅

His caress forever fixed as an indelible mark upon her senses…
Heightening them with only a thought…
Lingering coalescence of touch resonates…

΅〜 〜΅

His voice the song in her heart…
Magical melody…
Soothing while caressing her with each word…
Such divine elegance…

΅〜 ೋღ ღೋ     〜΅  

This dance of love keeping synchronous rhythm…
 Every step…every breath…every heartbeat shared….
Building the chorus of their song…
Keeping time…once elusive…now at their leisure…

΅〜 ೋღ ღೋ     〜΅  

Each memory adding to the one before…
As it is being composed with each new moment…
Amplifying its crescendo…

΅〜 ೋღ ♥ ღೋ      〜΅

    ΅〜 ೋღ  Christina ~  ೋღ 〜΅

All You Wish For…

 

Farther Away by LadyDarkRaven deviantart

΅〜 ೋღ ღೋ     〜΅

I can be all you wish for…all you need…
I can recreate myself into your most sought after desires…
I can fulfill you in ways others cannot…
In ways others have never been able to before…
I can make you feel so loved, so longed for…so desired…

΅〜〜΅ 

I can become your dream…
Your muse…
I can inspire you in ways hitherto unknown…
I can make you feel like a King…
I can love you with all that I am… 

΅〜〜΅ 

How I can do this?  
Because I am a woman… 

΅〜〜΅ 

We all possess these attributes and so much more…
If we will but allow love to permeate us… 
There is one caveat…to this we do for you…

΅〜〜΅ 

We must be so loved in return…

΅〜 ೋღ ღೋ     〜΅

 Even more…
We must be willing to risk it all…
For love…

΅〜 ೋღ ღೋ     〜΅

       ΅〜 ೋ  Christina〜  ೋ 〜΅

~

Gorgeous Photo by LadyDarkRaven 〜

The Place You Cannot Go…

Night_Dwellers_by_emptyidentityentity deviantart

The place you cannot go….

It is buried deep within….

Safely hidden from all external forces….

It is where my heart resides locked up tight….

΅〜 〜΅ 

I think of it often….

When hurtful words, actions, and circumstance permeate me….

Irregardless of their intent….they hurt….more than I can endure….

Inducing remembrance of why I wear my façade….

΅〜 〜΅ 

As my soul sinks deeper within its faux protection…

There can be no hurt, no pain, no disenchantment….

Impenetrable, as only I hold the key….

΅〜 〜΅

If I let you in, where you would wish to be….

The internal torment becomes unbearable with any action contrary to that which you wish to project….

Speak to me of love….whisper words of comfort…seek my trust….

All for not….for I will not let you in…

To potentially risk that which I have struggled…fought…

conquered with sheer determination….

The inception for this place of protection….

΅〜 ೋღ ღೋ     〜΅

All I am….

The sanctuary of my essence….

Subsumed in the place you cannot go….

~

΅〜 ೋღ ღೋ     〜΅

       ΅〜 ೋ  Christina〜  ೋ 〜΅

Image by Night_Dwellers_by_emptyidentityentity deviantart

What of Love?

΅〜 ೋღ ღೋ      〜΅

I’ve been away for a while…lost in a world of words….or trying to be in between life’s demands. All of this got me to thinking about my collection of words… how it is growing exponentially with each new author I experience. More than that…I realize that Phase One of my Reconstruction process was finding my voice…which I have done via words.

I suppose one would call this Phase Two…where I explore this new enigmatic and magical world where it is just I and words. Where I collect them like one would pick wild flowers in a field of luxurious splendor. That being said…I bring you my disclaimer which will officially initiate Phase Two of Reconstructing Christina… ~

photo journal

This is my Word Journal ~ Where I collect words, phrases, etc. Unceasingly adding to my repertoire.

΅〜 ೋღ ღೋ      〜΅

I could write of any thing…
Of every thing…
Hopes, fears, emotions…all of it…

Staring at the blank screen I think of my experiences…my past, present, future…
All coalesce into a myriad of thoughts and feelings…

I think of books I’ve read…of the greatest, most-gifted authors who write prose as easily as you and I breathe…of the beloved characters they’ve created…
I think of friends…of family…
Their thoughts, feelings, emotions on experiences in their lives…

I realize I needn’t write merely of my own small inconsequential existence…

Quite the contrary…
There are no ambivalent…ubiquitous…limitations..
I can write of all things…any thought…any emotion…any experience…
Words transcend…transport…our souls to the familiar…simultaneously to the hitherto unknown…

And what of love?

Universally speaking we’ve all tasted it…felt it knock us off our feet…or at the very least we’ve dreamt of it…what it would feel like in Love’s embrace…enveloped by all the very varied vicissitudes of that holy grail of emotions…

Yes…I shall share with you…dear reader…all of my experience with each and every emotion…be it mine be it anonymous…or pure fiction… For in the end…we all experience all of life eventually…some things exquisitely unique…some universal..

     ΅〜 ೋღ ღೋ      〜΅

So, I would politely ask you to not equate my coming pieces referring to only myself…
Instead please think of my words as relating to us all…
In one form or another…

That is my wondrous challenge, given to myself by me..to write in such a manner so as to be relatable by all…
For we are inherently…at some level or another…all the same…
Uniquely similar…

~

Christina signature old script

Take Me As I Am…

divider

ocean_melody_by_WCS_Wildcat scott callow deviantart

divider

Take me as I am…

Talk with me…

Know me…

Understand me…

Love me…

΅∼ ೋღ ღೋ     ∼΅    

Look deep into my eyes…

Caress my cheek…

Tell me I’m the only one who can make your heart sing…

The only one who can fill your soul…

Tell me there is no other who tempts you…

Tell me I’m special…unique…desirable…irreplaceable…

΅∼ ೋღ ღೋ     ∼΅ 

Touch me softly…

With the warmth of your love whisper your adoration…

With a kiss…show me your love…

your devotion…your desire…

΅∼ ೋღ ღೋ     ∼΅ 

Take me as I am…

All my faults…insecurities…fears…

Give me all of you…

In return…

΅∼ ೋღ ღೋ     ∼΅ 

You shall have all of me…

~

΅~ ೋ ೋ ~΅

΅〜 ೋღ  Christina~ ღೋ     〜΅

divider

Gorgeous Photo By  ~ Scott Callow Deviantart

I’ll Be Gone…

΅〜  ೋღ ღೋ      〜΅

Moment                 

΅〜  ೋღ ღೋ      〜΅

I’m afraid to love…

To want…to wish…

Dreams…

Hopes…

All of it…

   ΅〜 〜΅     

I feel you calling me to you…

I feel your desire…

I feel your love…

΅〜 〜΅

You’re my strength…  

My knight…

My dream…

΅〜 〜΅

Take my hand…

Pull me close…

Hold me tight…

Don’t let go…

΅〜 〜΅

I’ll love you so well nothing will compare…

I’ll be everything you wish…everything you desire…

I’ll spoil you so well…none but me will

fulfill you so absolutely…

so completely…

΅〜 〜΅

You’ll wonder what I want…

What I need…

How you can fulfill me…

You’ll ask me…

΅〜 〜΅  

I’ll change the subject…

I’ll take a step back…

You’ll ask me to open up…

To talk to you…

I’ll be further away…

΅〜 〜΅

Take my hand…

Pull me close…

Hold me tight…

Don’t let go…

΅〜 〜΅

Kiss me our last…

For when you wake…

I’ll be gone…

΅〜 ೋღ ღೋ      〜΅   

Too afraid to risk it all…again

~

΅~ ೋ ೋ ~΅

΅〜 ೋღ  Christina~ ღೋ     〜΅

~

The above piece was purely a fictional foray…

or as I like to call it…”Fun With Fiction

΅~ ೋ  ೋ ~΅

My Very Essence…

΅〜  ೋღ ღೋ      〜΅    

writing roses

΅〜  ೋღ ღೋ      〜΅   

  I write because I love words…

More than that…

I am utterly infatuated, fascinated, increasingly enamored with them…

their ability to express anything and everything one would desire…

 So very many decadently delightful and exquisitely evocative ways…

΅〜 ೋღ ღೋ      〜΅    

I write to release pent up thoughts…emotions, hopes, fears, dreams…

Endless expressions of me…

Who I am…why I am…where I wish to go in this journey of life…

΅〜  ೋღ ღೋ      〜΅    

Not only is writing my catharsis, it is unceasingly shaping me…

I quite literally am writing myself into who I am…

who I am becoming…who I will be…

My personal revolution…

A metamorphosis via a plethora of beloved words…

΅〜 ೋღ ღೋ      〜΅    

If you wonder why I write..the above is the best answer I’m able to give you…

Perhaps that also explains why I write so often of the inability to

express words exactly how or when I would wish…

To put words to the vague…the intangible…the elusive…

΅〜 ೋღ ღೋ      〜΅    

Some people call it writer’s block…

I call it amputation…

Without my beloved words…

I lose myself…my voice…my very essence…

I am only as unique as the words I choose…

The emotions…the feelings conjured by their purposeful placement.

It is my insistent compulsion to continually do so in ever more very varied ways…

΅〜 ೋღ ღೋ      〜΅    

You need look no further…

For this is who I am…wholly and completely me…

To be found…

In each word I write…

~

΅~ ೋ ೋ ~΅

΅〜 ೋღ  Christina~ ღೋ     〜΅

   

Anatomy Of Envy…

΅〜 ೋღ    ღೋ      〜΅

_Seven_Deadly_Sins__ENVY__by_blackeri

΅〜 ೋღ ღೋ      〜΅

Duplicitous people… Ego reigns supreme…
Faceless anonymity…
Blending into the crowd…
 Envy ever-present in each shadow…

Pretense of Virtue…

΅〜 〜΅ 

Infected thoughts permeate reason…

Drive inconsistent action….

Feed self-doubt…

Façade’s creation from distorted understanding…

΅〜 〜΅ 

It is not self one now projects….

It is another…

Envy morphs into emotional despair…

Feeds on itself until nothing but Ego remain…

Ego cares not for others…

It is self-driven…self-fulfilling…

΅〜 〜΅ 

One cure will abolish it…

Gratitude…

For all one has…

For all one is….

΅∼ ೋღ  ღೋ      ∼΅

No one can be you…

 No one can be me… 

For we are each…

Unique…   

~

  ΅~ ೋ ೋ ~΅

΅〜 ೋღ  Christina~ ღೋ     〜΅

Photo Courtesy ~ blackeri deviantart