For Loss of Words ~ Second Anniversary…

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Two years ago, on June 17th, 2012, I wrote my first post for this blog. I had no idea then all that could happen…would happen…it most certainly marked an epoch in my life. An epoch I am ceaselessly grateful for and feel it one of the most impactful changes in my life.

Shortly thereafter, I met Neil, my admiration of his writing was instantaneous, as was our friendship. On August 30, 2012 we published our first collaboration. It was such an incredible honor to read his words which I so admire. I had never attempted anything like this before…it was the beginning of future audio and video collaborations with Neil, followed by a few vlogs of my own.

 An excerpt from my “Christina ~ Out Loud” page…

Neil…thank you so much sweet sir…you are a star who will always shine so bright in my night sky. A friend who helped pull me out of myself and try something new and so so fun!”

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I wish to say thank you to everyone who has been along this journey with me, encouraged me, inspired me, and given me your steadfast support… with special gratitude to Neil who opened the door to new possibilities…new dreams…who encouraged me out of my shell.

Each one of you add so much to my life…

Transforming it from darkness into a rainbow of dreams…

~

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     ΅〜 ೋ  Christina〜  ೋ 〜΅

Melody of Silence…

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Reflections of silence resonate…
Dissonant deliberation…
Among the ethereal scintilla…
Echoes speak in deafening taciturnity…
Melody of Silence…

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Through the maze of countless corridors…
Myriad of memories…
A forest of dreams…of hopes…
Therein lies my hidden sanctuary…
Dormant…
Awaiting its incendiary denouement…

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Ephemeral illumination…
Fragments of time reminisce…
Whispering in the familiar shadows…
 Euphony…
~

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     ΅〜 ೋ  Christina〜  ೋ 〜΅

Iridescence…

iridesence by princehenebeng

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She watches the cerulean twilight shimmer iridescence…

Thoughts swirl like butterflies in a dance of dreams…
Glitter inspiration…
Igniting illumination…
Kaleidoscope…

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Lost in amongst these very thoughts….

She writes her soul…
Bared for all…
Illuminated…
Transparent…
Vulnerable visions lie cloaked in ephemeral euphoria…

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Yes…
Here are her words…her voice…
Her essence…
Growing in Night’s elucidation…

~

΅〜 ೋღ  ღೋ     〜΅

    ΅〜 ೋღ  Christina ~  ೋღ 〜

~

Image by princehenebeng

Silhouette….

shadow woman hat

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That was the day the sun stopped shining…

That was the day she realized she was dreaming…

Not living…

She was but a semblance of her former self…

An illusion created to protect…

Inevitably…

That very protection became self-induced isolation…

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She had believed everything…

Trusted everyone…

Perhaps naivety reigned…

Perhaps….so very many things…

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Falling into the very disillusionment that woke her to Life’s reality…

She welcomes this descent…

She knows it well…

She’s comfortable here surrounded by familiar phantoms…

All the disconsolate whispers…

Shadow’s silhouette casting the backdrop for a prior dream…

Antecedent of every hope, desire, aspiration…

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She will not cry…

Not one tear…

For they are hers alone…

And only when she is alone will they appear…

~

΅〜 ೋღ ღೋ     〜΅

    ΅〜 ೋღ  Christina ~  ೋღ 〜΅

Phantoms of Nostalgia…

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133ed0e29ae0e9f74e52eb1b578c9741 by LadyUndone Deviantart

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Seasonal daydreams…
Inducement of contemplation…
Crystal clarity colors perfection…
Kaleidoscope…

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September dissipates summertime sadness…
Lost in Autumn’s haze…
Interminable wait…
October’s promise…
Precursor to winter’s wrap…
Undertones of unknown fill the space between…

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Hope meets Dream…
Their collision sparks ignition…
November’s epiphany waits impatiently…
Mists of enchantment permeate dreams… filling them with potentialities…

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Theoretical assumptions…
Phantoms of Nostalgia…
The quintessential question remains anonymous…
Silently demanding detours…

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December hints evocatively at New Year’s renewal…
Presumptive lugubrious thoughts…
Induce Thought’s labyrinth…
Ignoring ignorance…

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Dreams sustain impetuous assumption…
Answers lie cloaked in enigmatic disguise…
Leaving never-ending questions where the Shadows of Temerity roam…

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This is the season yearning…
For illumination…

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Christina signature old script

Gorgeous photo by LadyUndone Deviantart ~

Intoxicating Indulgence…

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imagesCALBEUN2

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(I dream of you….)

An unfathomable force drawing me insistently to you….

Concupiscence…

My dreams sustain me until you can…

Tumultuous torrent of wonderment coalescing begging indulgence…

Your addicting gaze….

Provocative exhilaration igniting me…

Decadent desires unknown ache to be known…

Each day pulling us closer…

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Such is your effect on me….

Your love fills me…

Peaceful waves of serenity caress me…

Perfection of paramount proportions…

Longing…alluring…enticing…

Unceasing extravagant enchantment…

You have imprinted on me….

(I am forever changed…)

I am yours…you are mine…

Only one thing remains….

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Intoxicating Indulgence….

~

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 ΅〜 ೋღ  Christina~ ღೋ     〜΅

I’ll Be Gone…

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Moment                 

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I’m afraid to love…

To want…to wish…

Dreams…

Hopes…

All of it…

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I feel you calling me to you…

I feel your desire…

I feel your love…

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You’re my strength…  

My knight…

My dream…

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Take my hand…

Pull me close…

Hold me tight…

Don’t let go…

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I’ll love you so well nothing will compare…

I’ll be everything you wish…everything you desire…

I’ll spoil you so well…none but me will

fulfill you so absolutely…

so completely…

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You’ll wonder what I want…

What I need…

How you can fulfill me…

You’ll ask me…

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I’ll change the subject…

I’ll take a step back…

You’ll ask me to open up…

To talk to you…

I’ll be further away…

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Take my hand…

Pull me close…

Hold me tight…

Don’t let go…

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Kiss me our last…

For when you wake…

I’ll be gone…

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Too afraid to risk it all…again

~

΅~ ೋ ೋ ~΅

΅〜 ೋღ  Christina~ ღೋ     〜΅

~

The above piece was purely a fictional foray…

or as I like to call it…”Fun With Fiction

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Undone….

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Undone 2

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Procession of emotions…

Steady succession of thoughts, so rapid they are unfathomable…

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My mind begs surrender to illusion of peace…

Longing for tranquility of thought creating serenity in my soul…

Momentary glimpses of how the scattered pieces will join together…

One by one a blurry picture of future is forged…

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The quest for answers takes me down the path of distraction…

Unexpected knowledge…

New pieces always adding to the potpourri of thought…

Mirage of the new world…

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Conflicted confusion invades serenity…

Discovered distraction surrounds me…where does it dwell?

More illusion or just a dream within a dream?

Did I unknowingly discover these new pieces?

Adding to the journey of solution…

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I close my eyes and ponder…

Trying to find answers…

They are not forthcoming…

Purposely hidden from me…

Faux reality…

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Surreal scenarios leave me aching for illumination…

Conflicted distraction my new companion…

The very lens through which I see myself…

    ΅〜 ೋღ ღೋ      〜΅    

Tonight…

I am undone…

~~

 ΅ ೋღ  ღೋ      ΅

 ΅〜 ೋღ  Christina~  ღೋ      〜΅

Edge of Peripheral…

~*~

Peripheral

~*~

I can almost see you
I know I don’t know you…
Simultaneously, I know everything about you…
You are in my dreams…
In my thoughts…
We meet there occasionally…
There is the known and unknown…
That magical seductive dance that ignites my imagination…
Recognition….
There you are…
Waiting for me…
On the edge of peripheral…

~*~

christina signature b&w

Copyright © Christina Brownlee 2013

Kaleidoscope…

let go dreams

~*~ What dreams may come…. I sit and ponder…. So many emotions flashing before me…inside me… Sadness…fear….loss….confusion….disillusionment… Kaleidoscope… ~*~ Building a new dream… What will it look like? It is intangible…elusive…vague… I sense it there nonetheless…. Beckoning to me… Whispering … Continue reading