Enigma…

Each day we face similar choices depending on daily scenario’s. Recently…I have been reminded of how I was feeling a year ago and so with that I present….  ~ Enigma

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path

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 There on a path to future lies converging trails…

One reminds me of better days long gone…

One leads to the promise of future…

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I sit…think…ponder…

Why does one necessarily negate the other?

Conflicted confusion…

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The future is hope, risk, love, heartbreak, having, losing…

As is life in all of its ups, downs and all arounds…

Tumultuous emotions wash over me as I wonder which path…

All the while knowing, as I always have, that life moves in one direction…

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I cry silent hidden tears as the truth permeates me…

Time moves in one direction…

Always to the future…

Never to past…

I know this and yet…

It feels as though letting go of the past means it truly is gone…

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Two paths converge into one…

I know I must take the one to the future, because that is the way of life…

Always moving forward despite anyone or anything…

Time is an enigma which marches on irreverent of feeling…

Void of thought or emotion…

We choose to move with it or forever be trapped in the loneliness of the black void…

I will no longer be trapped in the void…

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Sweet encouraging voices beckon me to life, irregardless of the risk I know it brings…

I follow time’s path because of hope that will wash away melancholy…

I take the leap of faith..

Knowing only one thing for sure…

Time marches ever forward and now I am its companion…

One step…

Here I go…

~

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  ΅〜 ೋღ  Christina ~  ೋღ 〜΅ 

Unconditional Love…

“All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother”

~Abraham Lincoln ~

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Unconditional love…

Never ending support…

Patience to endure…

Healing hugs…

A balm to my soul…

Ceaseless words of encouragement…

A legacy of steadfastness, love, wisdom,

soothing words, gentle nature…

Commitment to withstand the severest storms of life…

Strength to protect beyond comprehension…

My best friend…

Believing in me when I didn’t believe in myself…

Never a doubt…

Always selfless… All ways there….

One word…

Mom…

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It’s time to introduce the most influential and incredible woman in my life…my mom. Penny…thewhyaboutthis.com . She is my hero and my biggest supporter throughout my whole life, and even through the pitch black valley myself and my children have been through for the last two years. She stood witness, she cried with us, she fought with us…she was/is always an incredible source of inspiration and comfort when we need(ed) it most.

We each started our own blogs for different reasons…it was never intentional to keep our relationship from our precious new friends here. We never dreamed we’d be able to meet and cherish so many so fast. For reasons which will soon be made clear…I wanted to share with you all, newest friends and those who have been with me when I was only brave enough to post a famous quote…then a quote with a picture….then writing poetry (prose)…which I never dreamed I would be able to do…at all!

This has been an incredible adventure…becoming connected with bloggers around the world. Your outpouring of love, concern, and support has filled my heart, made me cry tears of joy, and inspired me beyond what I ever dreamed could be possible.

Mom (Penny) and I decided it was time to share this information because she has a done a few posts about each of my children and now one of my journey through the unimaginable torture of the last two years. Not just grief, but what was intentionally inflicted on top of that grief.

Please visit www.thewhyaboutthis.com and read today’s post “and then she waited…” if you are interested in my story. As a gracious loving mom and grandmother…she has shown me the true meaning of unconditional love…my whole life…but even more so during the last two years. If I am half the mom to my children that she is/has been to me…then I am blessed with the greatest of gifts.

I love you mom…wouldn’t have made it this far without you!

Thank you for always being you, always being there, and for not running away at the repeated insanity thrown at us…

Your most grateful daughter,

Christina ~

Copyright © 2012 Christina Brownlee

Precious Gifts…

August 6, 2012 I published a post called “You Said…” It was a poem of my life (in brief) with my now deceased husband, Duane,  ( May 2010 ) and hopefully portrayed a peek at true, enduring, inexplicable love.  That’s what I hoped to share.  All the places I say “You said…..” he really did say those things.

It was a huge leap for me…a scary one, to put so much out there.  Myself and my children have been through too much these past two years and now are finally getting some peace, so I guess it’s all coming out here on my blog.

I am overwhelmed with the loving heart touching comments (and one very very amazing email from a sweet blogger friend) I received from so many of you. Seriously, some of them made me cry. It was just honest care and love being shared with words…and I felt them all.  Thank you…all of you.  I am so very appreciative to be part of something so incredible, to have you each in my life now as I begin anew.

It gets better…I received a request from Seadog to reblog the “You Said…” post. He was touched and wanted to share it. Thank you Seadog…I am truly honored.

When I checked my blog this morning there was another gift there for me…one that took my breath away and made me cry…happy and sad tears at the same time.

A most cherished friend ( Prashant ) had written a poem. I know there are things inexplicable in our world…and what would motivate him to write this…I’m not sure. But he did, and he shared it with me and it is so very beautiful.  It personifies Duane and the love we shared.

I asked Prashant if I could share it here, too precious to be tucked away in comments. He said it was mine…so again I will thank him for being open, honest, loving, empathetic and what Duane would love most….a husband who cherishes and loves his wife and children.  Thank you Prashant…you are a gift friend!

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There was a thing I had to tell you

since you knew my soul through your eyes.

In the moment of serenity so longed for,

closer to you, my mortal worth lies.

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Piousness in the love I had

fuelled my will to be a better man.

To carry your graceful charm, beautiful,

I tried my best – as best as a lover can.

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Somewhere, HE just felt so different

or, perhaps, jealous of me being with you.

He never told me to complete my song,

holier than his prayers – so complete and true.

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Now, when I see you from here

I feel stronger and so absolutely fond.

I know, in your heart, I am still alive.

As you smile with courage and beyond.

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Courage…

“All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them.” ~ Walt Disney ~