Reconstruction Redux… ~

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You know how you want to do something…need to do something but then life inundates you with its demands, it’s distractions.

You think…I’ll post soon….

‘The words will come, I’ll write something great! Well… I’ll give it my best.’

Then you don’t.

Days turn into weeks, weeks to months, months pass one after the other…soon it’s been four months.

Now you think…

‘What will I say?’ or ‘How do I share the malaise, the doubt, the perfectionist tendency to not post anything until black and white writingI have something truly remarkable to share. Something potentially erudite. Something close to achieving the unending goal of turning emotions, feelings, into words.’

How do I share those many months and their transformational effect on me, my thoughts, feelings, emotions, and my writing? How that amalgamation will in turn change what I share with you all. How I plan to write more than poetry. How I felt almost trapped into thinking that I needed to somehow only express myself via poems.

How do I share that now I know me better? Now, I’ve entered a new and hopefully even more exciting phase in my reconstruction. How change can be so frightening…how my fear of what you would think of said changes affected my doing so sooner.

How do I share my remorse and guilt for being away so long without a word to each of you to say ‘hey, I’m alright…just coping with life, sometimes drowning, but feeling stronger each time I realize…I can let go and float until my strength returns…until I can swim again.

2015-02-05 19.43.52How do I share that these many months away I’ve read the most incredible books. Books that have helped me grow as a person, a woman, a writer. Books that have shown me it’s okay to be me. That I don’t have to hide behind this self-created façade. That I can just be…real. Transparent.

This is where my reconstruction began. This is where my reconstruction continues to change as I do. Where I grow ever more in love with words, with books, with reading, with sharing, with each of you in that loving family non-creepy way.

I’m here now… ~  Let this journey begin anew…I’ll start with wishes for a deliriously magical year for each of you along with my hopes to see you soon at your place, I’ve so very much to catch up on!

~

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     ΅〜 ೋ  Christina〜  ೋ 〜΅

For Loss of Words ~ Second Anniversary…

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Two years ago, on June 17th, 2012, I wrote my first post for this blog. I had no idea then all that could happen…would happen…it most certainly marked an epoch in my life. An epoch I am ceaselessly grateful for and feel it one of the most impactful changes in my life.

Shortly thereafter, I met Neil, my admiration of his writing was instantaneous, as was our friendship. On August 30, 2012 we published our first collaboration. It was such an incredible honor to read his words which I so admire. I had never attempted anything like this before…it was the beginning of future audio and video collaborations with Neil, followed by a few vlogs of my own.

 An excerpt from my “Christina ~ Out Loud” page…

Neil…thank you so much sweet sir…you are a star who will always shine so bright in my night sky. A friend who helped pull me out of myself and try something new and so so fun!”

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I wish to say thank you to everyone who has been along this journey with me, encouraged me, inspired me, and given me your steadfast support… with special gratitude to Neil who opened the door to new possibilities…new dreams…who encouraged me out of my shell.

Each one of you add so much to my life…

Transforming it from darkness into a rainbow of dreams…

~

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     ΅〜 ೋ  Christina〜  ೋ 〜΅

What of Love?

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I’ve been away for a while…lost in a world of words….or trying to be in between life’s demands. All of this got me to thinking about my collection of words… how it is growing exponentially with each new author I experience. More than that…I realize that Phase One of my Reconstruction process was finding my voice…which I have done via words.

I suppose one would call this Phase Two…where I explore this new enigmatic and magical world where it is just I and words. Where I collect them like one would pick wild flowers in a field of luxurious splendor. That being said…I bring you my disclaimer which will officially initiate Phase Two of Reconstructing Christina… ~

photo journal

This is my Word Journal ~ Where I collect words, phrases, etc. Unceasingly adding to my repertoire.

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I could write of any thing…
Of every thing…
Hopes, fears, emotions…all of it…

Staring at the blank screen I think of my experiences…my past, present, future…
All coalesce into a myriad of thoughts and feelings…

I think of books I’ve read…of the greatest, most-gifted authors who write prose as easily as you and I breathe…of the beloved characters they’ve created…
I think of friends…of family…
Their thoughts, feelings, emotions on experiences in their lives…

I realize I needn’t write merely of my own small inconsequential existence…

Quite the contrary…
There are no ambivalent…ubiquitous…limitations..
I can write of all things…any thought…any emotion…any experience…
Words transcend…transport…our souls to the familiar…simultaneously to the hitherto unknown…

And what of love?

Universally speaking we’ve all tasted it…felt it knock us off our feet…or at the very least we’ve dreamt of it…what it would feel like in Love’s embrace…enveloped by all the very varied vicissitudes of that holy grail of emotions…

Yes…I shall share with you…dear reader…all of my experience with each and every emotion…be it mine be it anonymous…or pure fiction… For in the end…we all experience all of life eventually…some things exquisitely unique…some universal..

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So, I would politely ask you to not equate my coming pieces referring to only myself…
Instead please think of my words as relating to us all…
In one form or another…

That is my wondrous challenge, given to myself by me..to write in such a manner so as to be relatable by all…
For we are inherently…at some level or another…all the same…
Uniquely similar…

~

Christina signature old script

Double The Honor ~ Twice The Fun…

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I am so excited to share that I will now be a contributing author over at The Poet’s Corner! You each have been so amazing and supportive as I have grown through my words…my connections with you all. Even if you’ve only visited once…clicked that magical “like” button…you, too, have added to my world..making it rich, vibrant, and beyond rewarding!

So…check out the above link and you will find a wealth of talented writers whom I am privileged to be amongst. I’ll look forward to catching up with all of you while I explore this new world of posting on two sites…as per the title I truly do feel this is double the honor and twice the fun!!

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 ΅〜 ೋღ  Christina~  ღೋ      〜΅

My Honor To Share With You…

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It is my distinct honor to share with all my friends here…

that one of my poems is currently being shown at

http://poetscornerblog.wordpress.com/2013/09/11/waiting-for-the-rain/

I have added the badge for The Poet’s Corner to my sidebar with pride.

Many many heartfelt thanks to Harry for his commitment to share the work of others on his site.

Thank you Harry!

I would encourage you all to check out his site and see the many talented writer’s offerings there!

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 ΅〜 ೋღ  Christina~  ღೋ      〜΅

Ligo Haibun Challenge ~ Illusion ~

~ This is my first attempt at the Ligo Haibun Challenge for more information and to see the other offerings click here  ~

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This is my illusory image…the projection of myself. A paradox within the very masquerade I portray. I am not that which you think you see when you look at me. Quite the contrary…I am that which I choose to see. Reflection’s surreality is the lie. If you look with intent…truly discerning in your journey to discovery of what is or is not real. Then your rewards will be enlightenment, illumination, understanding. Even more so…you will see what I see…beyond the façade…the charade built over the years of life’s trials and tribulations…The interpretation of faux projection bearing no semblance of truth. You will see so far beyond the layers of lie…so as to truly see yourself when you look into me…your mirror.

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mirror illusion

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masquerade’s lie hidden
 truth impatiently waiting
mirror’s illumination

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~

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      ∼ ೋღ  Christina~  ღೋ      ∼

“You Should Date A Girl Who Reads” ~ My 100th Post ~

I’m so excited to be posting my 100th blog post hot on the heels of my 1 year Blogiversary post, then getting to share about Our British Invasion as well! Since the main topic of the aforementioned visit was books and the awesome adventure shared to obtain them, I thought the following piece was absolutely incredible and wished to share it with all of you for my first video reading….Vlog, if you will.

I present to you “You Should Date A Girl Who Reads” written by Rosemarie Urquico ~  I am so hopeful you will enjoy my reading of her magical words…

Thank you!

Christina ~

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“You should date a girl who reads. Date a girl who reads. Date a girl who spends her money on books instead of clothes, who has problems with closet space because she has too many books. Date a girl who has a list of books she wants to read, who has had a library card since she was twelve.
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Find a girl who reads. You’ll know that she does because she will always have an unread book in her bag. She…’s the one lovingly looking over the shelves in the bookstore, the one who quietly cries out when she has found the book she wants. You see that weird chick sniffing the pages of an old book in a secondhand book shop? That’s the reader. They can never resist smelling the pages, especially when they are yellow and worn.
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She’s the girl reading while waiting in that coffee shop down the street. If you take a peek at her mug, the non-dairy creamer is floating on top because she’s kind of engrossed already. Lost in a world of the author’s making. Sit down. She might give you a glare, as most girls who read do not like to be interrupted.
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Ask her if she likes the book.
Buy her another cup of coffee.
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Let her know what you really think of Murakami. See if she got through the first chapter of Fellowship. Understand that if she says she understood James Joyce’s Ulysses she’s just saying that to sound intelligent. Ask her if she loves Alice or she would like to be Alice.
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It’s easy to date a girl who reads. Give her books for her birthday, for Christmas, for anniversaries. Give her the gift of words, in poetry and in song. Give her Neruda, Pound, Sexton, Cummings. Let her know that you understand that words are love. Understand that she knows the difference between books and reality but by god, she’s going to try to make her life a little like her favorite book. It will never be your fault if she does.
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She has to give it a shot somehow.
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Lie to her. If she understands syntax, she will understand your need to lie. Behind words are other things: motivation, value, nuance, dialogue. It will not be the end of the world.
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Fail her. Because a girl who reads knows that failure always leads up to the climax. Because girls who read understand that all things must come to end, but that you can always write a sequel. That you can begin again and again and still be the hero. That life is meant to have a villain or two.
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Why be frightened of everything that you are not? Girls who read understand that people, like characters, develop. Except in the Twilight series.
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If you find a girl who reads, keep her close. When you find her up at 2 AM clutching a book to her chest and weeping, make her a cup of tea and hold her. You may lose her for a couple of hours but she will always come back to you. She’ll talk as if the characters in the book are real, because for a while, they always are.
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You will propose on a hot air balloon. Or during a rock concert. Or very casually next time she’s sick. Over Skype.
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You will smile so hard you will wonder why your heart hasn’t burst and bled out all over your chest yet. You will write the story of your lives, have kids with strange names and even stranger tastes. She will introduce your children to the Cat in the Hat and Aslan, maybe in the same day. You will walk the winters of your old age together and she will recite Keats under her breath while you shake the snow off your boots.
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Date a girl who reads because you deserve it. You deserve a girl who can give you the most colorful life imaginable. If you can only give her monotony, and stale hours and half-baked proposals, then you’re better off alone. If you want the world and the worlds beyond it, date a girl who reads.
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Or better yet, date a girl who writes.”
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~Rosemarie Urquico ~
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